Category: Life, Love & Observations

Merry Christmas

Home made Christmas Wreath

#Merry Christmas

To all the people who have made my life brighter this year with their writing, their images, their ideas and their inspiration.

Yes I mean you!

The readers, friends who cajole, inspire, support my ramblings and my thoughts however dark or bright they might be and who comment and share in the moments with me.

Recycled Slate MemoRecycled Slate Chalkboard

I have not written as much this year as I did last year. I am disappointed about that but my health has changed the way my life was going and I have had to learn to adapt to the way things have become. The new normal for me for the time being. I do not know what next year will bring. I only hope that it brings better health, less stress and more happiness for all of us. I hope that I will write more next year, both poems and happier posts, sharing good news with you all. This year has been a new kind of difficult, challenging in so many ways but I am hopeful for a brighter future.

Rosehip Syrup Herbal TeaPlum & Ginger Jam

As for Christmas in our home I figured out a few months ago that this Christmas was not going to be the usual what can we all buy each other that we don’t really need scenario. I have not had a proper job for two years so I informed family and friends that if I couldn’t make it, then I wouldn’t be doing it. Thankful that they accepted this I set about making their gifts and I have included here some of my snapshots of the things I’ve made.

Home made Decorations Truffles & GingerbreadSpiced Plum Sauce & Chocolate Truffles

So I embraced my creativity in other ways. Thanks to the people in a group or two that I joined on Facebook I have learned how to make things with foraged fruit and herbs, some of which will be given as gifts. I remembered that I enjoy cooking and making things so tried my hand at biscuits, truffles, gingerbread and cakes. I also made oils for cooking, jam, herbal massage oils and teas. I have made scented bath salts, Jewellery and Christmas decorations. I am also using recycled packaging wherever possible for these gifts. I also joined a group which showed me so many things that I had forgotten like ways to reuse and rethink and repair and recycle. I have so many wonderful ideas planned for next year that I want to try.

I have been cooking for weeks, trying things out and some have been gratefully received and others have driven my partner crazy. If I fancied making something new I set about finding a recipe to give it a try. He could not understand why I wanted to mess about with it all, but on limited means and I have made the most of the opportunity having learned new skills this year and revived older ones which I have forgotten. I spent a wonderful day recently with my sister where we made biscuits together, it’s something I don’t think we have ever done, we learned together and I loved the process.

Gingerbread Biscuits

When I have not been able to sleep, often In pain I have got up and made something. It hasn’t cost me much, only time and energy. Sometimes on my feet for hours, I have been exhausted but nevertheless for these simple things I have had a sense of accomplishment, which has been so important to me.

Plaited silks bracelet Vintage Crystal Beads BraceletShooting Star Biscuits

Homemade gifts are not everyone’s cup of tea. I have noticed a shift in the past few years where it has been more acceptable than it used to be, for that I am extremely grateful. I think it is lovely when someone has taken the time to make you something and it’s appreciated it is much more personal. I understand that not everyone has the opportunity or the skills to do that, but if you do then why not? It has brought back the real meaning of Christmas to me and I have made my gifts and are giving them to special people with love. So far they have been happily received and compliments abound. Especially with the foodstuffs.

This year we are at home in the South, much as we are missing our beloved Scotland I have dreams of a Christmas spent in our cottage of the future, especially when they play the reruns of the film The Holiday on television. I want to decorate our little place with things from the garden and the woods, home made decorations and lights on a tree a roaring fire in the house and the smell of woodsmoke and pines, while I cook the Christmas dinner, all snuggled up together with the family. I still have those dreams I’d like to fulfil.

So whatever you are doing for these holidays, however you choose to spend them. I hope that you are with people who mean a lot to you and you spread a little happiness.

As we look forward to a new and exciting year ahead, things can only get better.

With love and best wishes…

Merry Christmas everybody.

Before the Storm

As she sat in the corner of the sofa, feet tucked in, cup of coffee in hand and the blue of the sky enveloping her mood, she contemplated what was to come. The inevitable storm that would follow on this wintry day, where the air was cold and she would fight to keep warm in it all.

She knew it was coming, but she could not foresee what it would bring, just knowing that there would be trouble.

The only way was to wrap herself up protected from the elements and hunker down until it would pass, after all there was nothing she could do to change it.

It made her feel so helpless. Powerless as the weather and emotions exploded around her bringing about a change in the way that she would view things. The world she had known and loved now immeasurably different than before. Would she still find comfort in those little things. Pleasures in the simplicity of the life she had known back then.

Would she still be at one with nature and the beauty of the things that surround her. Could she still love in the same way.

The clock ticked and as the time went by she thought about all that had happened. How the years had gone and how it made her feel. The hurt and the resentment which could have swallowed her whole if she had allowed it to. But the old familiar hidden strength saved her from herself then just as it would again. Resilience was a family trait, she would not be beaten and before she knew it the storm had passed. On its way to somewhere and someone new.

Rebuild

I wake from dreams I’d rather not see,

In places where I don’t want to be.

My hands are shaking, blood pumping fast.

Why must this feeling of betrayal last.

As I rise, with face engorged,

To gather my armour and my sword.

Feet placed firmly upon the ground.

But my body spinning round and round.

Ready at the moment to let battle commence,

If I had my time again would get off the fence.

Would I show the truth behind the lies,

The ones betraying, the hidden spies.

Who caused hurt and pain and such a mess,

And deeds which broke me, causing distress.

So as I stand with my feet on the floor,

Heading out towards the door.

Was I as strong as everyone thought,

When I left that place, hurt and distraught.

Still in a spin now years have passed.

Oh why oh why does this feeling last.

As though on my axis, my own planet.

Why haven’t I got over this yet?

I wake from this and start to think,

So many times I’ve been to the brink.

What thoughts or deeds send me there,

Haven’t I moved on, so why should I care.

The feeling as raw as if it were the day,

The rug from me was pulled away.

Years of my life, hard work was gone.

Did not know what I’d done wrong.

Punished for strength and loyalty,

Tying me down, not setting me free.

Wanting them one day to make amends,

And doing my best to still stay friends.

But friends are not what they’ve been to me,

By removing the plasters, the wounds they’d see.

Time has not healed the hurt they caused,

Left in their wake, the bodies they’ve gorged.

They say in business there are no friends,

So why time and thoughts I continue to defend.

Let me go, I’ve paid the fee

Wish I could continue to rebuild me.

The Daily Post – Transformation

Bite

via Daily Prompt: Bite

291117 Bite

Who knew that six Months of my life,

Would disappear in symptoms rife.

That I would struggle with all my might,

Just because of that one small bite.

In the teeth a mighty kick,

The result of a tiny tick.

Flooring me with a hefty thud

Suddenly infected my blood.

The shaking body and endless pain,

Diagnosis that I sought to gain

But here I’m ill six months on

Feeling dejected nothing done

Doctors and hospitals none the wiser

Changes in diet an appetiser.

Painkillers caused me problems galore,

Who could have guessed what they held in store.

Will try almost all that they suggest,

But if it came from me at my behest.

Felling shot back down in flames,

I’m not enjoying their sad games.

The blood is taken and tested once more,

How many times? Not keeping score.

Again it’s not sent for the right test,

Chasing them up for each request.

Testing again for this and for that,

Breathless, exhausted feeling flat.

Lethargy forces me to take cover,

With dizziness and falling over.

The independence that I had so long,

Or used to have, now seems to be gone.

Reliant upon those who I love,

Whilst illness continues to push and shove.

Shunted again from pillar to post,

Can I see the person who knows the most.

The one who can put the picture together,

So I don’t have to be ill forever.

The hope that is the tempting lure,

That they will offer me a cure.

Instead of hanging me out to dry,

As months and years go hurtling by.

The voice goes quiet when I speak,

As the brain fog makes me weak.

The strength from within hidden below

I’ve forgotten much more than I know.

Trauma blamed I seek to absolve,

But physical illness they’re yet to resolve.

This thing that brought me to my knees,

They’ll tell you it isn’t Lyme Disease.

But this sickness by it’s very design,

Will limit your movement and you’ll resign

Yourself to the life that you once had,

Before they accused you of being mad.

The person you knew, where your light once shone,

Unrecognisable from then, now has gone.

Your forthright opinion can make you bold,

Before Depression finds its stronghold.

But ruled by the pain and distress

You’ll find yourself settle for less.

Some answers that you seek to find

To reassure it’s not all in your mind.

Desperately trying some new fad,

If it works you’ll be so glad.

Time goes on you’ll clutch at straws,

But the same old story often bores.

Now only your true friends still remain,

Their Love outshone the sad refrain.

Preparing for Christmas…

So we are now less than a month away from Christmas and I am wondering if I should decorate the trees? I was thinking that I might make some tiny handmade decorations for these little ones, although they will have to be weatherproof as these two already live outside.

These babies were grown from seeds dropped from pine cones collected from our home in Scotland by some people who are very special to me and have now moved to the other side of the world in Australia. Before they emigrated they gave them back to me and one day when they’ve grown they might be taken back to their homeland. Meanwhile they are about 12 ins tall, keeping me company in the South and reminding me of home and them.

As we get nearer to Christmas I will miss my friends even more and cherish the memories we have of last year when I got to visit them for a few days before they went. I am lamenting the fact that this year I won’t be able to send the silly gifts and home made things to one of my dearest friends, but I will hold them close to my heart and as always send them love. The distance is just a number, until we meet again.

Vivid Dream

Vivid dreaming with fine detail,

Will set me off upon the trail.

Who knows what the search will uncover,

Embittered colleague or star crossed lover.

Now is not the time for revenge.

My guardian angel to avenge.

When dented armour leaves me broken,

Let’s not have it out in the open.

Put it away back in the dark,

These things already left their mark.

Scars and wounds all laid bare,

Now hidden again, I do not care.

For I am not who I used to be,

The frightened, bullied, victim, Me.

It’s part of the learning,or growing pain

Get through this there’s so much to gain.

One day, or even through one night,

To build reserve, enough to fight.

The body exhausted too much to speak,

Will I haul myself up to reach the peak.

It’s all part of the bigger picture,

Thrown together the strangest mixture.

Emotions raw from this train wreck,

In earth’s huge matter a minute speck.

Loyal

Not just the hound that sleeps at my side throughout the night,

Watching me breathe and snuggling for reassurance.

Who sits at my feet.

Who waits at the door.

Who cherishes my company.

Welcoming me home.

The man who has been here, through thick and thin.

By my side.

In sickness and in health.

Who continues to hold my hand.

Reaches out for my caress,

Listens to my words,

Allays my fears,

And strokes my hair as he wraps me in his embrace.

Ever loving, even when I am difficult to love.

Trusting.

And am I to them as they are to me?

Loyal, fighting their cause to the death.

Arguing their point and mine.

Protecting them from harm.

There for them when they need me,

Or even when they don’t.

A family unit, bonded by all that we are and loyal to the last.

The Daily Post – Loyal

The Vivid Sky

As I gaze out on the vivid sky,

As storm Ophelia bustles by.

Here’s hoping that she does not wreak, 

Havoc here upon the weak.

I look at the grass upon the lawn,

Bright yellow coloured ‘fore the storm.

Not scary for those in the know,

The vibrant shades their glory show.

Colours brighter than bright can be, 

Natures brilliance there to see.

Bathed with this most unusual hue,

Changes what we know and view.

Clouds of dust and Saharan Sun,

Swirling high it has begun.

Confused flowers open at night,

Birds circling around still in flight.

Grey skies are circling overhead,

Wonder should we go to bed?

Batten the hatches and stay inside,

Or get out there don’t run and hide.

Lights on cars out on our walk,

Hurry on by they don’t stop to talk.

Go about your business on with the day,

Together we’ll chase the clouds away.

So sunlight and the sky will turn,

As onward to our home we return.

Thinking of the day that passed,

And memories of the light will last.

Another Misty Morn

Looking out at a misty morn,
Stifling a late night yawn.

Some time later we’ll break the fast,

Thinking of the night that passed.

At peace with nature, quiet surrounds,

This beautiful place that we have found.

A moment there with moon and sun, 

Anticipate the day to come.

Sshh a minute, don’t mean to be rude.

Just sharing a moment of gratitude.

The mist settling on grassy bank, 

Whichever God we choose to thank.

Harvest Prayer


Lady Goddess of the night,

Fill my room bathed in light.

Heal my body and my mind,

What I seek, I shall find.

Whatever path shall carry me,

Give me clear eyes, that I may see.

To assist in journeys, wondrous place.

To feel light and happiness upon my face.

Goddess help me to be free 

To grow with flower, herb and tree.

Lead me onward to the sun,

Barefoot, grounded as I run.

Help me learn what it is to be, 

So I embrace this bright new me.

Love is stronger than to hate,

Don’t take it lightly or underestimate.

Beauty remains and to behold,

More to us than silver or gold.

Loved by my little family,

We’re stronger with the power of three.

For riches are beyond compare,

By my side my family there.

Blessed by what you’ve given me.

A gift of just being free.