Our Sanctuary 

We’re off again to Sanctuary 

To save us from the Melancholy

A place to help us to forget,

Where we do not suffer regret.

Where the sun shines brightly through,

Trees and flowers grow anew.

To replenish mind and body once more,

There’s friends around and surprises in store.

Spring is in the air, sights to behold.

Welcome the new, but cherish the old.

Lambs and calf and fawn surround,

Open your ears and relish the sound.

A bright carpet of yellow daffodils,

Will always be one of the thrills.

What will have grown, what will have died?

What small animals used the house to hide?

There through the winter cosy and warm.

Inviting and safe to them, not broken and worn.

So I will clean up the house, the caravans too.

Will do some repairs, will make some stew.

Put on the coffee and light your cigar,

Remembering that we’ve come so far. 

When nighttime comes you’ll get your desire,

A glass of Brandy by the roaring fire.

Batten down hatches to calm the storm,

Silently, resting peaceful and calm.

Our place where we feel truly free.

We’re home again to our Sanctuary.

The Process of Therapy


So as I continue with the next session of therapy for this round of counselling. I thought I would share some more of my thoughts on the process.

28/2/17 Today’s Therapy Journey.

Today I spoke about what had been happening to me over the past 12 months since my last therapy sessions ended. I had thought that I was doing really well throughout the year and felt that I had made a good recovery and progressed. There was the fact that I followed this therapists advice when she told me to get creative again and it took me to places I did not expect. For which I am very grateful. I told her about this blog and how it has helped me in so many ways over the past year. Yes it’s actually been a year to the day since I started my blog and wrote my first post for India Blue. So much has happened. It began as part of my therapy and has grown into something so much bigger and better than I imagined back then.

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WordPress Happy Anniversary 1 Year!

We also spoke about how I could change what I need to and what my hopes are going forward. What do I want to do? I still don’t know exactly but I hope that I will know it when I find it.

I am happy writing, as little or as much as I do, it doesn’t have to be continuous but it does have to be regularly.

This week I have homework!

She wants me to write, specifically what I would like to achieve from these sessions. How I would like them to help me. My instinctive answer was “to get my head right” it was a bit blasé of me, a throwaway statement but right now it’s not one I have a definitive answer to.

Thinking for more than just a moment.  From this bout of therapy I would like to discover if after I have gone through it, I can find what I believe is out there for me to do and be able to do actually do it. I am guessing that I am going to need help with doing that, but don’t know to what extent yet.  I still don’t know what my future holds or even where to start, sure I have hopes and dreams I just don’t know how to get there, lacking in the confidence which allows me to take the leap that I may need to. I admit it, to a degree I am scared.

I would love to know how to quicken the healing process. I would like to know if the thoughts and emotions that I feel are linked to the PTSD I was sent here with in the first place almost two years ago. Or does it just stop and go away? Can it grow worse when faced with new trauma or mutate into a different thing? I still feel an emotional mess rather a lot of the time, ill equipped to cope and I would love to know how people who feel this way do. I know that life goes on. It’s happening all around me, but I feel somehow detached from it an other worldliness surrounds it. If I could regain that control over my life and my destiny then I think that it would help. But I question whether we ever get to do that, have any control over destiny, or do we just have to simply accept it? There again it is in my nature to question everything and perhaps too much. There are times when I am confident, my brave face goes on and for a short time I can face the world and take everything in my stride, but it is not natural to me at the moment and underneath I often feel I am crumbling. I go home and once again feel exhausted, my mind and body aching, totally fatigued. It happens after each therapy session and often after I go out, just to do the shopping.

But buoyed by talking about something that made me happy, (my blog) today I came home and was met by an email confirming one of my fears. I am sad. The CPS are not taking the case against my neighbour who attempted to knife both my partner and I last year any further. So it seems as though he has got away scot free with it. Which doesn’t thrill me at all and renders me fearful of what may come my way. I now want to be staying here even less than before and want to change things for the better.

via Daily Prompt: Quicken

Natures Way


As you hear the wind through the trees,
Sounds on the ear to entice and tease.
Natures bounty there in the wood,
Planted here for the great and the good.
Will share its branches and bend its bough,
Save some for later, not all needed now.
Leave some behind, to heal and regroup,
Let nature keep you in the loop.
Berries and fruits, there to behold.
What was once a garden of old
And one day, will be so again,
If you take care and do not drain.
The resources it’s happy to share.
While you clamber among it there.

A Month of Thankyou! 

A month ago, the day I bought the ticket that would take me to see my friends before they emigrated to Australia I wrote this on the patio for my partner. It was to express my Thanks for such a lovely gesture. A month later, the word has faded out there, in all the changes of the weather that has hit it but my gratitude has not.

We have been together a long time now. Yet I am so thankful to him for the things that he has given me within the past month alone. The experiences which we have spoken of over the years and in recent months which he has pushed me into and I have enjoyed wholeheartedly but which I would not have thought of doing without his gentle shove. He motivates me you see, but in a gentle, supportive way, which makes me feel capable of the changes that are happening, in readiness for their arrival. We have found the last year tough on many ways and so I would not do something extravagant as I concentrated on just paying the bills. But he felt that I deserved a break from it all, well a couple of them in fact.

The best of all, he is there when I arrive home and so is our boy ready to welcome me and hear my news and for the first time in ages, I have some for I have been somewhere and done something and I am grateful, so grateful.

The Daily Post – Capable

I knew it…Someday I’d get there

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So, how would I feel when it finally happened and was it different to how I expected it to be? 

Yes, totally.  I clearly did not know what to expect when I arrived at the place which I had longed to see.  It was my reason for wanting to visit Barcelona in the first place. To visit and pay homage to Ludwig Mies Van der Rohe’s Barcelona Pavilion.

For those of you who do not know, it was the German Pavilion first built in 1928-29 for the International Exposition in Barcelona, Spain it was demolished in 1930 and later on, they figured that that was a bad idea. It was an important building and pivotal in the architects career.  So the foundation set about reconstructing the building on the original site, in 1983 and in 1986 work was completed.  It is now open to the public and can also be hired for private events.

At this news, I thought what a wonderful place to have your wedding photographs taken. I felt that the clean lines, beautiful chrome and glass and exquisite stonework, would only enhance the photographs from the best day of a woman’s life.

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We had tried to find it for three of the five days which we had planned for Barcelona and yet, it was not easy to find at all.  We went past the signs for it on the bus, but still couldn’t find it. I had seen photographs of the place, but I didn’t know what surrounded it, something to look out for and three different maps didn’t show us.

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Once we were inside, you could see the iconic Barcelona chairs displayed. I somehow thought that there would be more furniture inside it. My mother was distinctly unimpressed with the whole place and within a short time was clearly bored.  We had taken a while to get there and were both tired. She agreed that the building construction was very good, but that was it for her.

I wanted a little bit more from the experience, I had thought that I would have a little time to relax there for a while and meditate, but my legs were aching from the walking and I could not get comfortable or shut out the sights and sounds around me. For a moment I stood next to the statue within the place.  It was not quiet enough, but would have to do.

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Dawn by Georg Kolbe

Just Wonderfully simple.

The Daily Post – Someday

Well Here We Are….

So we flew in last night for a few days a little visit to Barcelona for my Birthday. Something else to tick off the bucket list. I am looking forward to getting out and about and us seeing some of the sights. Especially the Barcelona Pavilion by Ludwig Mies Van der Roe.

I must admit that on looking out of the window last night and being met by beautiful twinkly lights on a balcony opposite I thought, this looks nice and this morning I have apartment envy as there is a huge rooftop terrace which is rather lovely. One lucky man is wandering about on it with his coffee this morning.


Today we will get our bearings and tickets for travel and might save the Pavilion for tomorrow. We are tired today, the hotel is on a very busy city corner, so we were wide awake till 3am and didn’t sleep much after that either. I haven’t slept in a city for a few years now, it takes some getting used to. But I find that the first 24 hours we are always adjusting. It feels strange not being able to speak the language. My partner would be fine he used to live in Spain.

So as we wandered about for almost 8 hours of yesterday. We basked in Sunshine and blue skies on this fine January day, were serenaded by beautiful green parrots surrounded by fabulous architecture and surprises around almost every corner. My Birthday was wonderful. 

We are staying in the Gothic Quarter and it is a short walk to Port Vell which had some fantastic yachts in the harbour and a pirate ship!


It was the perfect day to wander along the quayside. 


My weakness is for the architecture and it doesn’t disappoint at all. Art Deco and Nouveau at every corner and beauty that jumps out at you. 

It was quite warm and the horses looked hot, we decided not to make them walk anywhere on our behalf. 

I had to photograph this Lion it reminded me so much of my Roki at home having a stretch.
In the late afternoon we were tired so stopped for some good food. After which we wandered around replenished and as we turned a corner of a side street were met with a beautiful sound. A man playing the violin in a square directly in front of the Cathedral all lit up and a full moon overhead. My phone had run flat earlier and I had switched it off and at that moment prayed for a photograph of what stood before me. I was blessed and got this one then listened to the music and went on my merry way. 


Although I had the grand idea of us dressing up for our meal out we were just too tired after walking all day so had coffee and cake late evening and went to bed.

Tempted?

Wanderlust…

I have often wondered what it would be like to travel the globe and see wonderful things, beings and cultures en route, however I have always held back.

When I was younger it was purely from a financial aspect, I couldn’t afford it.  But as we grow, there is more of the world that sometimes we want to see.

I have travelled a little bit, mostly around Europe since meeting my partner, prior to that I had one disastrous holiday in Tenerife, which was supposed to be “a no strings attached vacation with a friend”  Needless to say, that was not the case and I came home after a colossal row having felt pressured which rather spoiled the experience.

Since then, we have visited several regions within France, Belgium, Tunisia, Hong Kong, Poland and Copenhagen and of course Wales and Scotland. I know to some who are used to travelling it is a mere drop in the ocean, but to me it opened up the world of possibilities and inspiration.

Last week, I was visiting Spain, another on my wishlist of places on my bucket list which I am slowly ticking off as the years go by.  (Yes I do have them)

I had thought that I would post from the sun whilst I was there, but was too busy taking photographs and enjoying the experience to write about it. But as my head is now filled with new memories and things this and more are being posted upon my return.

The Daily Post – Tempted