Beloved Puppy

Beloved puppy, loyal boy,

Still not so little bundle of joy.

My confidant and my furry friend,

Who knew how much I would depend.

Whose fur I reach out just to touch,

Whose love returned to me so much.

Coming along in leaps and bounds,

What joy again our lives have found.

Lays by my side when I’m at rest,

Cuddles to share our great big nest.

My furry assistant by my side,

Sends baddies running off to hide.

Has at last found his voice,

Joined our family his own choice.

Delighting in good things to eat,

Friends and family eager to meet.

His fans visit adoring him you know,

Responds with joy he’ll happily show.

To express pleasure he’ll often squeak,

It’s how he always used to speak.

But words have often replaced the noise,

As he comes over to me to share his toys.

Reassurance that’s there to last,

No matter what was in his past.

Excitement for the love he’s shown,

The Mama he can now call his own.

When I’m in turmoil or in a muddle,

Will share my space with a big cuddle.

He’s growing fast and strong and tall,

We chose the best one from them all.

The Daily Post – Nest

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Is it The End?

I’ve decided I will be writing a few short stories into the blog occasionally, just now and then. This one was borne out of one of the daily prompts.

via Daily Prompt: Final

She could not explain why it felt so final.

As she prepared to go on her journey, the moment that she booked the ticket, what he had said, he talked of if she didn’t come back to them.  Is that what he thought? Surely not.  Where on earth would she go, she did not wish to be anywhere else.  She did not even wish to go back in the first place.  To leave them at all.  What a funny thing to say, she thought to herself as she booked the ticket.  So off he went shopping alone, gathering foodstuffs for a single man.  There would be no meals cooked whilst she was gone, would he survive on sandwiches and pies, chocolate and biscuits. No chance of a staple diet, she worried about him.

They would be alright, he promised not to do anything silly in her absence, nothing that would cause him damage, he would rest, he said.  A friend was taking her to the station, they would not be there to bid her farewell, the kisses and hugs would have to be had before the short journey to the train.

It was only going to be a few days. So why was he speaking as though she would not be back? She did not understand, but hoped that the paranoia would not overtake sensible thought even for a moment.

But it sounded so final.

As she left for the return journey the conversation of the night before with someone else played on her mind. The words still rang in her head. “You must get there and not come back!” It seemed as though she belonged in neither place at the time. But she knew that she was right. This was no longer right for her. So much had changed in such a short time. Almost as though it was like she blinked and missed it, some altered state making her unaware of the when and how.

Rebuild

I wake from dreams I’d rather not see,

In places where I don’t want to be.

My hands are shaking, blood pumping fast.

Why must this feeling of betrayal last.

As I rise, with face engorged,

To gather my armour and my sword.

Feet placed firmly upon the ground.

But my body spinning round and round.

Ready at the moment to let battle commence,

If I had my time again would get off the fence.

Would I show the truth behind the lies,

The ones betraying, the hidden spies.

Who caused hurt and pain and such a mess,

And deeds which broke me, causing distress.

So as I stand with my feet on the floor,

Heading out towards the door.

Was I as strong as everyone thought,

When I left that place, hurt and distraught.

Still in a spin now years have passed.

Oh why oh why does this feeling last.

As though on my axis, my own planet.

Why haven’t I got over this yet?

I wake from this and start to think,

So many times I’ve been to the brink.

What thoughts or deeds send me there,

Haven’t I moved on, so why should I care.

The feeling as raw as if it were the day,

The rug from me was pulled away.

Years of my life, hard work was gone.

Did not know what I’d done wrong.

Punished for strength and loyalty,

Tying me down, not setting me free.

Wanting them one day to make amends,

And doing my best to still stay friends.

But friends are not what they’ve been to me,

By removing the plasters, the wounds they’d see.

Time has not healed the hurt they caused,

Left in their wake, the bodies they’ve gorged.

They say in business there are no friends,

So why time and thoughts I continue to defend.

Let me go, I’ve paid the fee

Wish I could continue to rebuild me.

The Daily Post – Transformation

Bite

via Daily Prompt: Bite

291117 Bite

Who knew that six Months of my life,

Would disappear in symptoms rife.

That I would struggle with all my might,

Just because of that one small bite.

In the teeth a mighty kick,

The result of a tiny tick.

Flooring me with a hefty thud

Suddenly infected my blood.

The shaking body and endless pain,

Diagnosis that I sought to gain

But here I’m ill six months on

Feeling dejected nothing done

Doctors and hospitals none the wiser

Changes in diet an appetiser.

Painkillers caused me problems galore,

Who could have guessed what they held in store.

Will try almost all that they suggest,

But if it came from me at my behest.

Felling shot back down in flames,

I’m not enjoying their sad games.

The blood is taken and tested once more,

How many times? Not keeping score.

Again it’s not sent for the right test,

Chasing them up for each request.

Testing again for this and for that,

Breathless, exhausted feeling flat.

Lethargy forces me to take cover,

With dizziness and falling over.

The independence that I had so long,

Or used to have, now seems to be gone.

Reliant upon those who I love,

Whilst illness continues to push and shove.

Shunted again from pillar to post,

Can I see the person who knows the most.

The one who can put the picture together,

So I don’t have to be ill forever.

The hope that is the tempting lure,

That they will offer me a cure.

Instead of hanging me out to dry,

As months and years go hurtling by.

The voice goes quiet when I speak,

As the brain fog makes me weak.

The strength from within hidden below

I’ve forgotten much more than I know.

Trauma blamed I seek to absolve,

But physical illness they’re yet to resolve.

This thing that brought me to my knees,

They’ll tell you it isn’t Lyme Disease.

But this sickness by it’s very design,

Will limit your movement and you’ll resign

Yourself to the life that you once had,

Before they accused you of being mad.

The person you knew, where your light once shone,

Unrecognisable from then, now has gone.

Your forthright opinion can make you bold,

Before Depression finds its stronghold.

But ruled by the pain and distress

You’ll find yourself settle for less.

Some answers that you seek to find

To reassure it’s not all in your mind.

Desperately trying some new fad,

If it works you’ll be so glad.

Time goes on you’ll clutch at straws,

But the same old story often bores.

Now only your true friends still remain,

Their Love outshone the sad refrain.

Loyal

Not just the hound that sleeps at my side throughout the night,

Watching me breathe and snuggling for reassurance.

Who sits at my feet.

Who waits at the door.

Who cherishes my company.

Welcoming me home.

The man who has been here, through thick and thin.

By my side.

In sickness and in health.

Who continues to hold my hand.

Reaches out for my caress,

Listens to my words,

Allays my fears,

And strokes my hair as he wraps me in his embrace.

Ever loving, even when I am difficult to love.

Trusting.

And am I to them as they are to me?

Loyal, fighting their cause to the death.

Arguing their point and mine.

Protecting them from harm.

There for them when they need me,

Or even when they don’t.

A family unit, bonded by all that we are and loyal to the last.

The Daily Post – Loyal

On the Precipice, Life shouldn’t be this hard.

No, I’m not ready to jump or anything.  Although things have been pretty stressful lately,  (for that read at times unbearable) at times you feel as though you are reaching breaking point, when you are laying down to sleep and the dreams you have are past experiences, mixed with anxious feelings for an unknown future, it seems that all the fears and bad experiences are rising to the top again, the forefront of my mind and I hate it. Upon waking I know it is a dream but I do not want it to be the reality and I really don’t want to relive those aspects of my past all over again. On some such occasions, I tell my Mum, she agreed it was pretty horrible, but that I should acknowledge it as bad dreams and don’t accept it.

My future is not hanging in the balance, but despite my best attempts to leave my fate in the hands of the gods, or some higher power.  I find myself crying out on a far too regular basis that “Life shouldn’t be this hard!” feeling as though I am some forlorn child who is unable to cope with her life.  But it is not only I who feel this way, my partner also is struggling with why things are so difficult for us all of the time.  Some people in the past have suggested that we might be better going our own separate ways, that somehow we are bringing each other down.  But that is unkind, (the politest response that I can put here and a pretty messed up way of looking at things)  Anyhow, I can remember without rose tinted glasses that life wasn’t so fabulous before he came along either.

When one thing goes our way and we are overjoyed after, days, weeks, months of things going wrong.  Other people do not have to deal with things like this on an every day basis.  We really need a break and we are crying out for one.

If the angels are listening, please send some good our way, health, happiness, funds, or anything really to lighten the load.

via Daily Prompt: Precipice

Overload

via Daily Prompt: Nervous

It sometimes feels as though too much.
Indescribable feeling, not unreal as such.

Fatigued, exhausted from it all.

Setting myself up for a fall?

I try to sleep, but sleep won’t come.

Nowhere from it that I can run.

I worry it will swallow me whole 

Falling down this great big hole.

I feel the senses overload,

As I travel on this road.

Sometimes uncontrollable quakes,

After which my body aches.

Often feel as though bound and chained.

When I have felt my energy drained.

All the senses heightened here,

Shaking, sweating cloaked in fear.

Sounds so loud, then they are gone.

But they tell me nothing’s wrong.

Suddenly I’m temporarily deaf, 

Frightening leaving me bereft.

I asked them the problem to address, 

But they say it’s caused by stress.

I tried the calm. To meditate.

Can’t force the quiet, myself I berate.

My voice has changed, I cannot shout.

When I try to let it all out.

Swollen throat I almost choke, 

Sending the message my body has broke?

My mind and body feel detached,

Suddenly, became ill matched.

At this time I feel bereaved.

For what’s been lost, I am aggrieved.

I rest a while and floating free,

Willing just to return to me.

The blood is pounding around my head, 

Surging, thoughts fill me with dread.

With gritted teeth and clenched jaw,

My muscles aching and so sore.

Is this real pain or anxiety

there’s changes needed to just be. 

Cannot just stay powerless,

Wanting to relieve the stress. 

A deeper meaning I search to find,

Whilst hoping it’s not just in my mind.