This poem came to me after a night of dreams which I really felt I had actually lived through. I so often dream like that these days, usually waking exhausted finding that even if I wake and then go back to sleep, I return to the dream and it continues. They seem to have gone on for hours and hours and I can recall so much detail. Occasionally I will write them down, but mostly they are thrown to the depths in the hope that they are finally over. This one played on my mind, so I ran with it.
Dreamlike Travelling... I wandered lonely as a cloud, As all around cloaked to enshroud And as its brightness filled the sky, no longer lonely, I cannot lie. But suddenly the brightest hues, My loneliness I began to lose. A bow of colour bold and bright, Filled all I could see with beauteous light And as I gazed in wonderment, for I haven’t a clue how long I spent. I drifted away from myself, No further worries of sickness or wealth. Transported to a place in my dreams. Filled with people I’d lost, or so it seems. But here they all were enjoying their time, while I sat worried, enduring mine. They were not sad and they were not blue, They were not worried for me or for you. But as I was pulled for my time is not now, I awoke with a start at this strangeness how With a feeling once more of peace and of calm, with emotions battered and thrown in a storm. So once again I’ll return to my sleep, These secrets held tightly for me to keep. I checked once or twice but there’s no-one around, Were my feet standing till and on safe ground? But couldn’t help it though try as I might, Far away down below me once more I’m in flight. Don’t know where I travelled or if very far Was I the speed of a shooting star? Would they look up and say, what’s that thing? If they saw me fly over, or if fear would I bring. But I could not slow down, or certainly stop As time passes by on an old town clock. The hands are now worn and so are the chimes Of a bell which marks the passage of time. Of birth and of marriage, the toll of the dying, my cheeks become wet with emotion and crying. As I coast over land and hill, my eyes are hungry and take their fill. A strange voice from within proclaimed he’d done a good job As I looked all around me and started to sob. For as far as I flew and as far as I see, Were people working so hard to be free. They’re not spreading their joy, it’s no mean feat, But a permanent struggle to make ends meet. So, as I’m transported back from this place, With a look of understanding on my face. I’m reminded again of the work of my guide, That I cannot shirk from or run and hide. For all around me are people, like the clouds Whose minds and bodies scream aloud And while they struggle to get through a day, I wonder how many will stop and say… That when things are tough, they can and still, Travel the sky and return at will. I visit with ones who aren’t coming back, Guidance and love to keep us on track. So after goodbyes which I thought they spoke, from this dreamlike state I awoke. Tired from my journeying I could sleep no more, Planted my feet firmly upon the floor. I had no more baggage, I was travelling light, Nothing to declare on this surreal flight. Could I return to this fantasy realm? In a boat with my love, at the helm. Would we be blown by a stormy gust? Could we share in this future unknown to trust? or perhaps clarity or certainty it might bring? Would its arms feel heavy from carrying? I cannot know and can only guess, but think some more and unravel the mess of thoughts as I lay upon my bed, resting my heart, my body, my head. I won’t stop on my way, to smell or pick a flower For my journey is onward, I don’t have the power. My mind is open and I’m here to observe, as I feel weightless to the twist and curve. In a waking moment, I don’t think how I might, Be suddenly transported up here in flight. I can’t feel the take off but once I am there, Soaring, high I look below me without care Although I feel guided, I see no one there All the time I’m all knowing I do not feel fear. And just for a second after I land It’s as though someone let go of my hand. While I travel along, free of pain, Is it why I go there again and again? Don’t know why I’m there, or why I came. No one ever asks me, I’m free from blame. Don’t know if they saw me, or stories they’ll share, Of fleeting fly bys’ will they even care? So, I’ll go there again and those memories I’ll store, While my faith in the unknown I’ll try to restore. While I travel along this emotional tryst, Have I been gone long, or was I missed?
Words and Image by IndiaBlue