Bite

via Daily Prompt: Bite

291117 Bite

Who knew that six Months of my life,

Would disappear in symptoms rife.

That I would struggle with all my might,

Just because of that one small bite.

In the teeth a mighty kick,

The result of a tiny tick.

Flooring me with a hefty thud

Suddenly infected my blood.

The shaking body and endless pain,

Diagnosis that I sought to gain

But here I’m ill six months on

Feeling dejected nothing done

Doctors and hospitals none the wiser

Changes in diet an appetiser.

Painkillers caused me problems galore,

Who could have guessed what they held in store.

Will try almost all that they suggest,

But if it came from me at my behest.

Felling shot back down in flames,

I’m not enjoying their sad games.

The blood is taken and tested once more,

How many times? Not keeping score.

Again it’s not sent for the right test,

Chasing them up for each request.

Testing again for this and for that,

Breathless, exhausted feeling flat.

Lethargy forces me to take cover,

With dizziness and falling over.

The independence that I had so long,

Or used to have, now seems to be gone.

Reliant upon those who I love,

Whilst illness continues to push and shove.

Shunted again from pillar to post,

Can I see the person who knows the most.

The one who can put the picture together,

So I don’t have to be ill forever.

The hope that is the tempting lure,

That they will offer me a cure.

Instead of hanging me out to dry,

As months and years go hurtling by.

The voice goes quiet when I speak,

As the brain fog makes me weak.

The strength from within hidden below

I’ve forgotten much more than I know.

Trauma blamed I seek to absolve,

But physical illness they’re yet to resolve.

This thing that brought me to my knees,

They’ll tell you it isn’t Lyme Disease.

But this sickness by it’s very design,

Will limit your movement and you’ll resign

Yourself to the life that you once had,

Before they accused you of being mad.

The person you knew, where your light once shone,

Unrecognisable from then, now has gone.

Your forthright opinion can make you bold,

Before Depression finds its stronghold.

But ruled by the pain and distress

You’ll find yourself settle for less.

Some answers that you seek to find

To reassure it’s not all in your mind.

Desperately trying some new fad,

If it works you’ll be so glad.

Time goes on you’ll clutch at straws,

But the same old story often bores.

Now only your true friends still remain,

Their Love outshone the sad refrain.

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Loyal

Not just the hound that sleeps at my side throughout the night,

Watching me breathe and snuggling for reassurance.

Who sits at my feet.

Who waits at the door.

Who cherishes my company.

Welcoming me home.

The man who has been here, through thick and thin.

By my side.

In sickness and in health.

Who continues to hold my hand.

Reaches out for my caress,

Listens to my words,

Allays my fears,

And strokes my hair as he wraps me in his embrace.

Ever loving, even when I am difficult to love.

Trusting.

And am I to them as they are to me?

Loyal, fighting their cause to the death.

Arguing their point and mine.

Protecting them from harm.

There for them when they need me,

Or even when they don’t.

A family unit, bonded by all that we are and loyal to the last.

The Daily Post – Loyal

The Vivid Sky

As I gaze out on the vivid sky,

As storm Ophelia bustles by.

Here’s hoping that she does not wreak, 

Havoc here upon the weak.

I look at the grass upon the lawn,

Bright yellow coloured ‘fore the storm.

Not scary for those in the know,

The vibrant shades their glory show.

Colours brighter than bright can be, 

Natures brilliance there to see.

Bathed with this most unusual hue,

Changes what we know and view.

Clouds of dust and Saharan Sun,

Swirling high it has begun.

Confused flowers open at night,

Birds circling around still in flight.

Grey skies are circling overhead,

Wonder should we go to bed?

Batten the hatches and stay inside,

Or get out there don’t run and hide.

Lights on cars out on our walk,

Hurry on by they don’t stop to talk.

Go about your business on with the day,

Together we’ll chase the clouds away.

So sunlight and the sky will turn,

As onward to our home we return.

Thinking of the day that passed,

And memories of the light will last.

Tock Tick, 

Tick tock, tick tock

Incessant noise from the clock

Tock tick, tock tick
All the while that I am sick.

It carries on doesn’t want to stop

When I am ready just to drop.

Reminds me that time marches on

While they figure out what is wrong.

All the while as I lay in my bed

The noise I hear going through my head 

Layers upon layer it’s there underneath,

Hear it so loud I clench my teeth.

While there is pain my body quakes,

Blood pumping fast I have the shakes.

Ever changing from the norm,

My life has taken on new form.

So different now from before,

Not knowing what it has in store.

On most days I live in pain,

Thankful for some small gain.

The gratitude when things go right,

When I can sleep through the night.

When I can feel I do not shirk,

And I’m able to do some work.

See my way through the brain fog,

To enable me to walk the dog.

Walk up the road from side to side,

Stagger along with him at my side.

Is she alright or is she drunk?

Wish I could escape from this funk.

Erratic emotions cause alarm,

Losing all my grace and charm.

Will they notice my thoughts are mussed,

Or disregard they are not fussed.

People have fallen by the way,

As I fight through each day.

Some are still there as they should,

They are the ones who are kind and good.

Yes life has changed beyond recognition,

Going forward, time out, this intermission.

For this is not how it will stay for me,

I’m sure it’s only temporary.

Over time I’ll start to get better,

Once again be that go-getter.

I hope that it’s not permanent,

For this is not how my life’s meant.

One Year On

I can’t quite believe we’re one year on,

From the day you were suddenly gone.

Your soft fur gone from under my hand.

As I fought to understand.

Circumstances left me sad and shaken,

When from us you were instantly taken.

It happened so quick you gone in a flash

Heart and mind a nightmare crash.

They say that grief will take a year,

We wish we still had you near.

A robin reminder there each day,

Tells me that you haven’t gone away.

Are clear in my thoughts and in my mind,

Didn’t dare hope again that we could find

A beautiful boy, another one.

We’d take on as our furry son.

Not small a baby, but quite grown

Who should never be alone.

He needs us, we need him too.

Therapy for both me and you.

So as I think of the time now passed,

How thoughts of love will always last.

And how you’re both right by my side,

When all I want to do is hide.

A cuddle when I need it most 

So drink to you my dogs a toast.

You made life different from before,

Here’s to the ones that I adore.

Who change our lives from what we knew,

We’re blessed to have been one of the few.

Taught us things they have to show.

Help us flourish and help us grow.

As that year’s gone by time’s marched on.

Looked up to find that you had gone.

Will look out for dancing butterflies,

Again as I feel my spirits rise.

There for a moment, gone too soon

Lightheaded happiness makes me swoon.

Come visit again and sing your song.

Still can’t believe that you are gone.

Across the fields of grass you run.

Wind in your fur and face to the sun.

Charging ahead right up the track,

Wait for me, not coming back.

Years filled with irreplaceable time,

But glad for a while that you were mine.

Not forgetting you were his too,

So sit and enjoy your beautiful view.

As we try so hard not to be sad,

I’ll hold his hand and cuddle your Dad.

While you are in your favourite place on the hill,

In both our hearts and minds here still.

There looking out far across the sea,

Now my son you’re running free. 

When Loved Ones Revisit. 

I don’t know if you believe that loved ones who have moved on to another life visit you to remind you from time to time. I am a firm believer in this. The Robin who appears every day singing its little heart out on the hill whenever we are there. Who first appeared when we scattered some of Kato’s ashes in his favourite spot. It always comes to see us in front of the house, singing loudly to announce its arrival. This year it showed us its new baby, just as we did. We showed it ours and it returned daily whilst we were there. 
Yesterday was the year anniversary of my last accident. When a wonderful surgeon spent three hours stitching my face back together after going off duty. For which I will be eternally grateful. She did a wonderful job. Quite often you can barely make out the scars, the skin has healed very well. I am still working on the emotional ones. It takes time.

Then one year ago today we lost our beloved Kato. It broke our hearts a day we will never forget when we had to say Goodbye. We have been grieving for a year. Yesterday we were talking about him. We often do because we talk about most things and it helps us both. 

As we spoke of him suddenly we were joined in the garden by the most enormous and beautiful dragonfly we have ever seen it was four inches long and just as wide, you couldn’t miss it as it flew over us.

Now dragonflies are known as reminders of loved ones who have passed away.

The dragonfly swooped around in front of us both and swirled around our heads. Roki stood up and barked, which is unusual for him and went over to where it stopped to take a look. It landed on the honeysuckle right where Kato saved the baby bird by letting me know it had fallen from its nest and was trapped in the branches and made sure that I rescued it and set it free.

The dragonfly sat there for about five minutes. It was larger than life and close up it looked black and white with silvery wings. Of course it was. It embodied everything that Kato was in that sentence.

It made me quite emotional to see it. Touched by this thing of beauty. I went inside to get my phone to see if I could get a photo of it, it took a while to see it sitting there camouflaged in the bush but look closely on the middle of the bush as I did to get this photo and you will see it. After I spoke to it, it flew skywards. I prayed that it would have a safe journey and return to me. 

I am sharing with you again today my poem Butterflies and Dragonflies written last year, a short while after he passed away.

https://indiablue.co.uk/2016/09/03/butterflies-dragonflies/

Light & Dark

So I’m wandering around, in the light and in the dark.
Wondering about life and how I’ll make my mark.
Ambition to look forward, which will drive us always on.
But who really is to say, what is right and what is wrong?
There are so many of them, Unanswered questions in my mind.
As I sort through them all, I try to just remind
That this life is ever changing
For the good and for the bad
I am just resting here right now
Not really going mad.
Time is ticking onward and I want to move along.
Don’t want to reach the end, the fat lady sings her song.
Without finding a something that will set me there apart.
A confused misguided person, who just once followed her heart.
So leave it all to fate, or manifest your dreams.
And hope that it gets better than it often seems.
As tears have started flowing, my sadness rears its head
And that Karma works its magic, long before we are dead.
To hope that there is something, which out there good will bring
Back to us with fortune, love and faith within.