My Brother.

When your world’s outpouring grief,

There’s no relief.

While the grief has just begun,

I feel so numb.

Where I think of what is left,

I feel bereft.

Nerves are buzzing, feel the pain

My memories remain.

Where does all this come from,

Because your gone.

Never again to return,

My eyes burn.

There with me right from the start,

Piece of my heart.

As I’m reeling from the loss,

Can’t count the cost.

As my life enforced this change,

It feels so strange.

There’s no distance near or far,

Small shining star.

Never again to hear your voice,

I have no choice.

Feeling raw and very blue,

Because of you.

Shattered dreams are torn apart,

New course of life to chart.

Which direction to navigate,

Things so highly I will rate.

Back in a moment filled with your joy,

Our beloved and cherished boy.

No longer here to hold my hand,

Can’t begin to understand.

Why you had to go away,

And couldn’t stay.

My loss is heavens gain,

It’s such a shame.

Despite it all it’s safe to say,

You did it your way.

You lived life fast, enjoyed the ride,

Now the pace has stopped I want to hide.

But life will go on and yet besides,

Can’t find release where pain resides.

Silent prayer to the one your soul to keep,

Whilst I sit and weep.

My brother and my very first friend,

It’s not the end.

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Distraction

The momentary distraction,
of sitting on a train,
in pain.
The people that surround me,
living out their lives,
it thrives.
Working, Dreaming, Sleeping.
the memories spring to mind,
not weeping.
A thought or treasured memory,
unjust circumstances in time,
not feeling fine.
Anger and frustration,
While in grief from sudden loss,
Now life has changed forever,
As I stop to count the cost.
That interesting point in the middle distance,
to fix my eyes upon.
The horror and realisation,
that he really is gone.

 

This Little Spider

Daily Post -Disrupt

This little spider.

Who rushes out to greet me again this evening,

Who crawled up my arm yesterday night,

And abseiled his way down from my glasses the night before.

Who sits in the living room

Quietly waiting for visitors to arrive.

Waiting for dinner time,

Where we all sit together and eat.

For the TV to stop and the chatter to quiet.

For the lights to go off and us all to sleep.

This little spider,

So small that you barely notice him.

Who does not disrupt family life.

Keeping me company, watching over me,

Doing his work and sharing our home.

Lies – A Poem

Esther Chilton Challenge – Lies

To see the truth behind the lies,

She tries.

But when she lays her soul so bare,

He’s there.

The sickened feeling in her gut,

Eyes shut.

She hopes and prays it will not last,

Stay in the past.

When old memories no longer fill her with dread,

It’s dead.

Forget the lies which have been told,

Be bold.

Believe that they are not wrong,

Life goes on.

 

The Patchwork Desert

012The Patchwork Desert

Where the sky mimics the ground below,

We travel so fast but it looks so slow.

Like a carbon copy of blue on white,

Of the places we used to fight.

Undulating. The rise and fall.

Mighty high but I feel so small.

War torn cities no hint of their history,

All shrouded in a cloud of mystery.

A beauty they have all of their own,

As I travel on alone.

Basra and Baghdad truly unexpected sight,

The views you see during day and night.

Desert sands are shifting, giant dunes on a beach.

Thousands of miles, I wonder how far they reach.

Stretching, climbing mountains take you further afield.

Landscapes and lifelines, there’s so much to yield.

Rivulets of water expand into lakes,

I wonder if there are earthquakes.

But where water brings, greenery and hope,

To hardworking, normal and honest folk.

Like alpine views bathed the mountains in light

One thing I can’t get past, try as I might.

The thing that I don’t understand

Is which is snow and which is sand?

And broken clouds go sailing by,

As we travel through the sky.

The sunlight creeping through is such a sight to behold.

Majestic mountains, telling the stories of old.

 

The Daily Post – Explore

Such Excitement

Such excitement I can hardly breathe.

If you wish hard enough and do believe.

Then all the bad luck we’ll rearrange.

And things at last are going to change.

That it really will come right in the end.

Thanks to my dearest on whom I depend.

He’ll embrace my heart to follow my dreams,

To make things happen and set the scenes.

Of adventures to happen in this life,

After all the trouble and strife.

The trip of a lifetime, a far off place.

He’s there in my heart and back I’ll race.

To tell him of the places I’ve been,

And all of the wonders I have seen.

To share with my love my stories and cheer

Of all the new things that I hold dear.

Things that he pushed me to achieve

At times my aching heart will heave.

To not have him there right my my side

My hand to hold my journey to guide.

But even though he’s there at the start.

We’ll never feel we’re really apart.

To head off alone can fill me with dread,

But I’ll always hear his voice in my head.

To leave him here I do feel mean,

But he’s sending me off to fulfil a dream.

So when time is done and this Earth I leave.

My life lived and travelled I do believe.

Kaleidoscope

A kaleidoscope of colour and as you turn it round

Try as you may to look again you know it cant be found.

The patterns ever changing, right before your eyes.

Before they go Forever, just as though it dies.

Wishing it could keep it, and draw it on a page

Is a memory that I store as I reach this age.

If I could hold it steady there right in my hand,

That myriad of colour could replace the bland.