So Easily Distracted.

I am not quite sure exactly when this happened.  When I became so easily distracted that clambering into the shower with my glasses on became the norm or at least a regular occurrence.  Is it a writer thing? I silently ask myself, or am I simply losing my marbles…

Who has the answer to that one…  But I did it again today! Sure it helps for a moment or two if you happen to be using a razor, to enable you to see those places clearly, but sooner rather than later, the glasses steam up.

It is not confined to steamy glasses at all, if only it were. I often find myself returning to a place to remember what it was that I was thinking of before, maybe it’s just a sign that I am getting older, although worryingly I have done this for years and I’m not that old!  You know that point when you are standing in the exact point of a room where you thought of something before you actually headed off to do it.

I  hope that I have not become so wrapped up in myself that I am unaware of what goes on around me.  I don’t think this is the case, since I am more than aware of the family’s needs and they will never allow that to change and it would give me yet another thing to dislike about myself (and I’m trying to cut down on those, not add to them).  Have I put my own actual needs aside to pursue my goal, of finally achieving something for myself, instead of what has been expected of me in the past?

At times, my partner has told me it seems to have become an obsession of mine, to write the things down that go through my head.  He has also intimated that this is a bad thing, although of course I beg to differ.  I cannot explain the need to do this, other than to enable me to come out the other side of whatever goes in in my sometimes muddled brain and work things out. He also tells me that I have “a butterfly mind” one which flits between subjects.  This is not to be mistaken as a low attention span, for I can go back to the original subject, thus proving that I was in fact listening all along, which never ceases to surprise him. I can even repeat what he just said too, usually when he thinks he doesn’t have my attention.

But I wish I wasn’t feeling quite so distracted at the moment. It makes me worry at what other important things I might miss.

The Interesting People We Meet and the Things They Teach Us.

It’s interesting buying things from eBay. No this post is not actually about the delights of eBay itself, there is plenty of advertising for that. I have been buying things from this particular platform for about 13 years now and have in the past few been also selling on there. It is one of those things, sometimes your sale goes easily and other times, it is a complete pain, with awkward people who expect far too much from the object you are selling, or leave the dreaded rubbish feedback which blights your account until the end of time. Or until the eBay team read the messages between you and decide that it shouldn’t be there and remove it.

This post is about the people you meet as you purchase things and collect them, over the years we have met some lovely people and some downright horrible ones. If you are buying from them, you make it a very quick collection and try not to share anything personal with them.

Then there are others, who by meeting them, they get you thinking about them, you share a coffee and a little of your life history and you get on really well. You leave feeling as though you have gained from the experience. Sometimes they bring you a gift, like the man who brought me a tray of duck eggs and a bottle of wine from his smallholding when he collected a trailer. The little girl who brought me a loom band bracelet she had made when she collected her sister’s horsebox. The man who turned up with flowers and chocolates. The kindness of others is always to be appreciated and like me if you often go the extra mile to help, just because you can, sometimes nice people turn up. Don’t get me wrong, we have had our share of unkind ones too, who have ripped us off taken our money, or not described something properly, or it has been damaged when it arrived. But for the main, we take as we find people and they do likewise in return.

Over the years, we have bought cars, things, furniture, trailers, horse boxes, caravans, clothing, almost a house on occasion but pretty much anything and everything via eBay and it has served us very well. We haven’t always purchased well though, some of the vehicles have caught us out and needed expensive repairs, but generally if you check something over before you part with your money and you know what you are looking for, then it’s still a good place to buy from.

On Sunday we did a 140 mile round trip to meet a lovely couple. We went to collect a trailer and when we arrived, we were a little disappointed as it was smaller than they had advertised. We could have walked away from it at this point, since its smaller size made it less suited to our needs, but we had driven the distance so we might as well take it and it was not expensive. My partner had a lovely chat on the phone with the man before we set off, to make arrangements to pick it up, it has taken a couple of weeks due to conflicting schedules. But we arrived there and met the man and his wife. The men immediately got along and since I had turned up with some flowers for his wife, she made me coffee, real coffee, which was very much appreciated.

Clifford was in the music business before he retired, he mentioned this before we arrived. Having worked in the entertainment business myself, I wondered what he would be like. Whether he was a musician himself, or would turn out to be a promoter full of his own importance. I needn’t have worried, it turned out he was a charming man, in his mid 70’s, with the carefree attitude of someone who has done well for himself. He wrote and composed songs and has enjoyed a comfortable living from it over the years. He kept himself healthy with various sports and martial arts, which is something the men had in common and they shared interests in many things. The house with its enormous garden looked unpretentious, lived in and enjoyed not there for show, just people getting along with their lives. It was not fussy or overly decorated. It was homely and I rather liked it. It had a pool in the back garden and some outbuildings and some rather lovely fields and woods surrounding it. Lots of greenery and a pretty and maintained garden. The sort of place which I would hope to have when I was their age, which is still some way off for me. I didn’t want to put her out but Dominique made coffee for me anyway and as the men talked and they showed us around their sprawling garden discussing their schooling and growing up bizarrely, it was clear that they got along just fine and that Clifford had a story or two to tell.

We went inside to talk as it was late afternoon and getting cooler. She was a smart and interesting French lady, a few years older than me. In no time at all we realised that we also got along well. We stood in the kitchen, discussing what we did for work, whilst the men talked school, history and other things. I told her that currently I am writing a book, having just finished my first one of adult poetry, it was now ready for publication, I hoped. She was genuinely interested in hearing about it and asked me how the writing came about and I explained that it was part of my therapy, an outlet for my thoughts, following injury and trauma. That I had written over the years, but done nothing with it until recently and that now I write a blog. Although at some point I may have to get other work too, I was taking the time to do this for me. I told her that a couple of years ago I had become involved with a health products company but that due personal reasons felt and with a lack of self confidence that it was the wrong time to throw myself into a public forum, where you have to sell to people and speak to people you don’t know. Despite my good intentions when I began I just wasn’t ready for that and so had let it slip into the background having done very little with it, but it was there to pick up with again when I am ready, although I did not know when that would be and I secretly hope that I will be able to in time.

As we talked I found out that Dominique is a Corporate Coach. A person who big companies employ to get the best out of their staff and improve their self confidence to boost productivity. She told me a little about her work, that she enjoys it and gets to travel and does a lot of remote working also. She also told me about the benefits of “EFT or Tapping” I had heard of it before but not looked into it, she explained that she had found it reduces stress and she finds it really helpful. I asked her more and she told me briefly how it works, that it is something that you do for yourself involving the meridians of the body. The Acupressure points throughout the body can be quite literally tapped with the fingers to relieve stress and trauma influences and calm the body, a bit like acupuncture without needles. Now as you might know I prefer a holistic approach wherever possible and have been a bit stressed out lately, so I was very interested to hear about this and thought, I’d definitely give it a go. I have had acupuncture in the past and found it very useful for pain relief, but also suffered nerve pain from a misplaced needle too, so this method definitely appeals.

Early on in our conversation, I sensed that she was holding herself back, but still remaining polite. She was more than a little distracted but soon explained that her mother was very ill in France and had been taken to hospital that morning, she apologised but she had to keep checking for messages. I understood, but she kept coming back to speak to me whilst the men sorted out the trailer. For a moment, there was a visible glimmer of a girlish quality, laughter as she demonstrated the tapping technique to me, she reminded me so much of one of my friends who I have not seen for a while.

Dominique suggested that I look up a couple of websites and watch some YouTube videos on how to do it properly she wrote them down for me and suggested I give it a go, if I wanted to. No pressure but it might help oh and it also won’t cost anything.
This lady may have just given me a present in this conversation. She wrote the websites down for me and as it turned out I had heard of one of the people Nick & Jessica Ortner. I had signed up for an email to “The Tapping Solution” a while ago, but had not looked into it fully yet. As usual other things had taken a precedence recently and the doing things for me, time out from everything else has only been happening to write very occasionally.
I resolved to look it up and read those emails.

We were there for several hours, we had difficulties with the trailer, since the size of the tow hitch was different to our towing gear on the vehicle, Clifford had to adapt it to fit and it took a while. But what was lovely was that by time we left there, we felt that we had been treated more like visiting friends than someone who had just gone to collect a trailer and they asked us to stay in touch with them. We were hugged and invited to call again if ever we were down that way.

I recently saw a quote which resonates with me, it said that “Your Energy Introduces You Even Before You Speak” I believe this to be true. I have met many people over the years, some I have taken an instant like to and they have been good, kind people some have become firm friends. You can tell a lot from someone upon a first meeting, the first impressions do count. Some call it a hunch, or a gut instinct, or a vibe. Whatever you choose to call it, in deciding last year that I would follow my instincts when it came to meeting new people, I have been better protected. There are other people who on meeting them I instinctively up my guard and don’t like, I can’t always put my finger on why at the time, but usually my instinct has proved me right, they have turned out to be people with alterior motives or who are just downright nasty. In misplacing my trust in them, usually by giving them the benefit of the doubt I have got hurt and gone through all sorts of pain, or put myself in places I should not have been. I hope that in future, I will learn from that mistake.

But what I am thinking about today is that it makes such a difference when you meet nice people and restores your faith in humankind and I would much rather spread a little happiness.

Twenty One – A Poem

 

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This is the poem I wrote for my wonderful man as we celebrated rather simply our 21st Anniversary, we did not need anything fancy, as always we were just glad to be together, to spend the day doing something different, we visited an old favourite place and forgot our troubles for a while. He is my rock, there by my side through it all and I did not know that I would love him now more than ever. 

As we walk towards our future,
Place our footprints in the sand.
You will turn and smile at me
And I will hold your hand.
The life we have together,
Is not easy as it seems.
But after all these years have passed,
Your ’e still the Man of my Dreams.
Some thought we weren’t so suited
And try as they may to part,
But you are the right one Darling,
Who has always had my heart.
Although we’re not yet married,
It’s not been the right time.
We are still together
And we get along just fine.
We have had just Twenty One
And I’d like twenty more.
To see together what will come
And what life holds in store.
I knew quite soon I loved you,
You were special from the start.
Didn’t know that this time later,
You’d still hold firm my heart.
So as we celebrate this time,
And what life to us has thrown.
We will carry on just building
And know that we have grown.
Since people couldn’t break us
And we haven’t just forgot.
That we’ve had it so much longer
And better than a lot.
You see things are sent to try us
And try us as they may.
Out love just grows much stronger,
Each and every day.

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The Daily Post – Together

Images: Morguefile.com

Twenty One – Remembering The Girl in the Blue Dress

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This post is in Celebration, the fact that we made it to our 21st Anniversary and were able to celebrate with a day together doing some of the things we used to do. Yesterday for the first time in so long, we felt able to smile freely, laugh and talk about the girl in the blue dress, who walked everywhere and who he kept bumping into.

At the time we first met, there had been a series of commercials for The Post Office on the television, explaining all the many services and items that were available there. The catchphrase of this particular campaign was “It’s amazing what you can pick up at The Post Office!”

It sure is….
On a spring day, I was walking into town via the beach, I had things on my mind and it was a good hours walk from home to the High Street. I didn’t drive at the time and had very little work, so I walked everywhere. It was hot and I walked into the small post office near to the walkway down to the beach, to get a drink I was met by the sight of a small child of about 4 years old being tipped upside down and spun around and shrieking with laughter by a man in the shop. There is something quite lovely about hearing unexpected laughter from a child, especially when you have things on your mind and at the time my Grandmother was very ill and I was worried about her. As the tickling began of the postmasters’ daughter, between giggling, she begged him to stop as she was breathless from laughing.

I purchased my drink and the throwaway remark as I was about to leave the shop, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” He stopped and turned and smiled at me, I smiled back laughing and left. It was the first of several unexpected meetings, time we met.

A few weeks later, I was walking again, by then it was very warm but I liked the beach better when it was quiet. I had walked for three hours to meet a friend to go out on their boat for the afternoon and had missed them and was returning home hot and tired. I had some walking boots which had a heel and I loved them since I could walk for miles. I was wearing a lovely soft blue summer dress I had bought on the day my Grandmother died. I was in town that day and saw it. Thought it was a lovely dress, fitted and flared and bias cut which was very flattering and a perfect fit when I tried it on. It had crossover straps at the back and was the perfect summer dress. I thought about buying it and placed it back on the rail. I couldn’t really afford it. As I walked around the other shops, my thoughts we drawn back to the dress, My Nanny loved me in pretty dresses, she would have liked that one. It was blue, my favourite colour and was well made. I scratched around in my purse and found I had just enough to buy it and was due to be paid in a couple of days. I had food and electric, so I purchased the dress. She would have wanted me to have it.

As I walked up from the beach I thought I would make a phone call.
There was someone in there, piles of change on the side making a call. I waited for some time in the hope that he would vacate and I would be able to use the phone and some 15 minutes later he was not showing any signs of doing so. I tapped on the window, he opened the door and I asked if he was going to be long since I also needed to make a call. As he turned to look at me, it was him. A few moments later he came out puffing a cigar to allow me to use the phone. I made my phone call and afterwards we sat on the bench outside the train station and began to talk, he had a wonderful voice, like Sean Connery, the Scottish actor who played James Bond. He was very well spoken and quite obviously knowledgeable. He was just under 6ft Tall and had dark hair, a nice face and beautiful dark brown eyes. He was quite chunky, good muscles and a great pair of legs. I knew this as he was wearing shorts, he was a few years older than me.

It was wonderful to listen to him and about an hour and a half later we had been sitting there and decided to walk together. As we walked we continued talking and when we reached a few roads from my home, we were both thirsty. I had £1 in my purse, enough for a drink in the local pub. He had run out of change with his telephone calls.
We laughed about it, walked up the road and into the garden of the pub, where I spent my last pound on a glass of coke with two straws. We sat in the beer garden and shared it and continued to talk, he was good at listening as well as talking and we seemed to get along very well. He explained that he would be going to Spain during the next week as he often spent time there with Family and Business.
After about four hours of talking with each other, it was time to leave. The afternoon was turning into evening and the pub was getting lively, he said he would walk me home. I only lived at the next corner. He asked for my telephone number and as we said Goodbye, I thought if he’s off to Spain, then that’s probably the last I’ll see of him then. I never expected anything else.

Meanwhile a week or so later, I met someone who asked me on a date, he was younger than me, which was a first and we began to spend time together, but it didn’t last long. He was just too young for me and it stopped being fun in no time at all. We dated for a couple of months and then I tried to let him down gently.
Unfortunately, when the time was up the boy didn’t want to leave and so used to sit outside my house in his car all night and hammer on the door in the early hours. He was being a bit of a pest and I kept letting him in to talk to me.

Later that Summer, there was a knock at the door. I had visitors and went down to the main door to answer it. The Man from the Post Office was back. I was shocked to see him. I told him I had visitors, so he couldn’t come in. He asked me on a date a few days later he would pick me up for lunch. I was really pleased that he had come back. I had enjoyed his company and thought I would again.

It struck me that I was not the usual type of girl he dated. I think that he liked girls who spoke better than I did, were a bit more refined and classy. What on earth would I wear to a proper date with him?
I looked like a scruffy secretary, in an oversized jacket I had borrowed and skirt, blouse and heels. I also was so nervous that I put on my posh voice, tried to pronounce everything properly and I did not want to show off.
He saw through it in an instant.
He took me out to lunch to a place some way away from where we lived. I hoped that this was not because someone might see us together. Previous relationships had made me a tad cynical. It was the place that my Grandparents had gone on their first date. We had a lovely meal and part of the way through it. He turned and said to me, “You don’t need to try so hard to impress me, we spoke for hours before and I like the real you.” He took me home after the long lunch with lots more talking and arranged to see me again.,

I had no idea how long it would last, if I was what he wanted or he was what I wanted, or where it would go from there, little did I know that we would be celebrating our anniversary twenty one years later, or that we would go through so much together and I would still be with him and still in Love with him.

The Daily Post -Together  Image:Morguefile.com

The Nunight Song

For those of you who do not know, Nunight is slang for Goodnight.  In our house growing up we always used to say it, before heading off to bed and I carried on the tradition. Up until recently I used to play a particular piece of music for Kato and I to go to sleep to, it was Binaural music, intended to relax and sent both of us off into a calm and deep sleep in minutes although sometimes, we would play it twice.  I nicknamed it “The Nunight Song” he always knew when it was coming and would be snoring within minutes… I highly recommend it for peace and meditation if you have trouble getting into the right frame of mind and shutting all the other noise and thought out. I found mine via Mindvalley.com  Meanwhile, as we try to adjust almost two months later to the fact that he is no longer here, our days and our bedtime routine hasn’t got any easier and we miss him so much.

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The Nunight Song…

As I play the Nunight song
And Daddy says he won’t be long.
Whilst I clamber on my bed
And say Goodnight to Little Ted.
I hope that I will feel you near,
As I wipe away another tear.
As time goes by and weeks have passed,
I wonder will the feeling last.
The one where every night to sleep
I lay my head and gently weep.
And feel the sadness of it all,
That you aren’t here to answer my call.
The raw emotion in my heart
As such huge loss, we are apart.
Until the day we meet once more
The Furry Son that I adore.
To see your fur, Black and White
Translucent shining, your eyes so bright.
To once again feel your kiss
And hold you close would be such bliss.

I Just Wanted to Thank You!

Thank you

Well, despite everything that has happened since the Good and Bad since I began this blog at the end of February this year I have now reached another one of my goals. Hooray! Another for the Yay list.

After setting up a list of Intentions – Things I want to do this year I have struggled to do so many of them, but goals are not easily achieved and I still have such a long way to go with them.  I am sure that many will appear in next year’s list too, but that is OK I have to remind myself that it isn’t supposed to all happen at once.

Yes, I have finally achieved the goal of 100 Followers here on WordPress.com and although I couldn’t quite believe it, I was met with the little red button to tell me this morning.

So I wanted to Thank you all for reading my blog, my poems, looking at my photographs over the past few months.  Sometimes my posts have been sporadic, with weeks apart when life gets in the way and I think I should write more.  I am grateful for the kindness which spurs me on when I am feeling low and the encouragements.  The Reader has become my substitute morning newspaper and I love reading what has been happening in the world.

I am grateful for the people who have chosen to follow, me and comment upon what I write. For the ones who have come like friends you look out for to see what they have been up to and who you miss when you don’t hear from them.

My Thanks go to Travelling Krishnaite – Shekhar Srivastava the 100th person to follow my Blog, for making my milestone and helping me to achieve a goal. Why not click the link stop by and take a look at the blog, give the posts a like or a comment.

Image: Morguefile.com