In Song – The Howl

The Daily Post – Song

I have realised that although I have a few small videoclips of him singing, as yet we don’t have a picture of our Roki In Song.

When he first came to live with us he didn’t talk much. Silenced by fear he made a few noises to express pleasure, barked if you asked if he wanted food. Gave a little rumble if you scratched his tummy or ears. It took some getting used to and realising that it was simply his way of expressing happiness. He makes some funny sounds.

Kato used to sing, we encouraged it from the very first and he loved to sing the song of his people sometimes at the most inopportune moments. He also loved to sing Happy Birthday and would burst into song after the first word with recognisable words throughout.

When Roki came into our lives, we decided to teach him to sing too.

The first time we all howled together he looked confused and I think so did we. He was two years old. This little puppy voice which had not been encouraged to speak came out, sounding very hoarse and croaky but his tail wagged and his face lit up when he realised that he wasn’t going to be told off.

We made it our mission to let him sing every day, so in the mornings when everyone is awake we all sit on the bed and have a Song, the family or pack (if you prefer) all joining in and I tell him that I love his singing and he is a very good boy.

His voice is getting deeper now that he is four years old, not a sudden change like when Kato became ill, but the strength from within that resonates, it comes from deep down. It is soulful yet happy and the whole bed shakes when he sings now, the paws bounce as he throws his head back, just like a wolf his neck extended to allow the depth of his voice to come out and travel through the air and the tail still wags.

He has learned to talk to us more now too, answering questions and saying Hello.

Although he was adopted by us you might think that he has been here all his life. We are very pleased and proud of the boy he has grown into. Adoring, loving and full of character and as gentle as a lamb with friends and family whilst protecting us from intruders and predators as well.

Advertisements

We Won’t Panic! It is Done…

What’s she done now? would probably be my Mother’s response to this subject but she already knows the answer.
The other night I gave her the draft of my book The Sentimental Jorney -Poetic Stories Vol 1 to read before I publish it. I had told her some time ago that she could and asked her if she would just check it through for me before I hit the button on it.

I think you are getting the picture with my frustration at what I did next..

Yes I hit the publish button with the wrong date on it. Well nobody is perfect! 

I had my reasons, of course so that there was time to amend it beforehand but I would like for someone to buy the book before Christmas if possible. 

Mum went away promising to let me know when she had read it and give me feedback and since it was late and my partner had not yet arrived  home I thought I would upload the book to Amazon to check the layout I had amended. All good so far it fitted fairly well on tablet view.

Oh No, what have I done?

Suddenly im saving it I go a message which said that I had sent it for preview for pre-order. What shall I do now?  Panic! 

So I began praying that I’d be able to make changes if I need to, (like the date for starters) but more so what kind of idiot decides to publish their first book on New Year’s Eve for goodness sake!   So I was feeling rather foolish. I also   wonder if I have been greedy on the price… Well that didn’t take long did it? For the self doubt to start creeping in.

So this was not the post about publishing that I had hoped for all this time, when 4 months ago I finished writing it and waited for the family to read it.  I wanted to be able to shout out loud. “That’s it at last, it is Done” with some level of pride. I did not expect that I would be silently berrating myself for my carelessness in making this error in timing. I wanted to be happy that I had published when the time came. So a couple of days later I just needed to get my head back to a good place and set the thoughts free before posting this here and edit of course. I was able to change the date after all the panic so I am now actually able to say…

Here is the link in case you would like to buy a copy when it comes out this weekend Saturday 26th November for the kindle and don’t worry if you don’t have one you can download an app for other devices so that you can read it. 

Amazon Link – The Sentimental Journey – Poetic Stories Vol 1 by India Blue

I can’t quite believe that I can now   actually write that. That’s another tick on my list.

Please show me some love and share the link for me and I’d love to know what you think. 


Envy, Just Look at What You’ve Missed…

IMG_1293

Just look at what you’ve missed…
So, don’t be jealous, be thankful.

I had a poor childhood, we often went without.
I was Bullied at School.
I was abused as a Child.
My first ‘real’ boyfriend cheated on me with my friend.
I had a miscarriage.
I developed an illness which is incurable.
I had a stalker.
I almost lost the love of my life to surgery, twice.
I have suffered in pain for years.
I have had several horrendous jobs, some resulting in redundancy.
I have suffered loss and grief time and again.
I have been raped.
I have suffered with depression.
I have considered suicide on several occasions.
I have disfiguring injuries.
I have had major surgery, which has changed me.
I will never have the joy of bearing children.
I have no child to care for me when I am old.
I could have lost my soul mate to Cancer.
I have had my life threatened with violence.
I have had people threaten to burn down my home.
I have been at rock bottom so many times that I have a seat there with my name on it.
I am fighting battles which I have not yet won.

So before you envy me for the things that I have in my life, think and be glad for all the things you have missed out on.

The Daily Post – Envy

Fragile, Handle with Care

It felt like possibly her darkest hour, when, not understanding what is happening to her, Carlotta sank into a deeper depression. She didn’t think that it would be possible to feel more depressed than she had felt before, but it was as though her previous experience had barely scratched the surface of the depth of these feelings. To be even lower than the low that she had previously experienced.

So many things can trigger it, past feelings coming back to the fore, emotions are raw and at that time she didn’t know what had hit her. She then suddenly and inexplicably felt quite so totally alone, like never before. Like no-one could break through it, unreachable in a glass box for all to see, but unable to break out of it. To be abandoned by both friends and family for a while. She may have put herself there, shutting herself away trying to deal with the thoughts in her head and the feelings she may be coming to terms with, or it may be that they had no idea what to do with her, how to cope with the new version of her which they may be seeing for the first time ever. The person whom they know and love, hidden so deeply within that they can no longer see them. Had she become a shadow of her former self? Perhaps she was a wilder, more erratic person, signs of all the things that she hated about herself, bright and raw, there for her and everyone to see. All her emotional scars visible to the naked eye. She was once so vibrant, un-phased by it all, seemed to take it all in her stride, where has that confidence gone? Well, that walked out along with the people who couldn’t take it. Perhaps they all left town together on their road trip, perhaps they will send her a postcard. Maybe not.

She hoped that in time that both she and they will see a new person appear. It may look like the original on the outside, but if she is lucky she will have gained strength from the experience, it will not have weakened her beyond repair. There will be shades of the original there for the friends and family who have not given up on her. They will tread tentatively around her for a while, while they figure out where the new boundaries are. Other people she may know may take this opportunity to test how far she can be pushed, what she will stand for. As long as she doesn’t break again in the whole process she has a chance of recovering her momentum once again. Will she regain a sense of purpose, power over it again and move on?

The new version will be more determined, much stronger, less trampled by others, the new version of her will be a force to be reckoned with.

Time is a great healer, Time will also tell.

The Daily Post – Abandoned – Fragile, Handle with Care

#linkyourlife

Physical or Emotional

Scars.  Sometimes blatant, there staring you in the face. Like it or not. A constant reminder of things you want to forget, of the circumstances surrounding your particular experience. Sometimes unseen, kept under wraps, from the things you are trying to convince yourself that are making you stronger. Sometimes there is no outward sign at all, hiding the actions or the words of others.

Emotional ones may heal in time with understanding and effort, but wherever they happen to be indelible upon the person they remain.

Scars will never go completely, they change you. Some will wear them with pride, some will hide them away. Whatever your own personal choice, if you have them you cannot escape them. Some women will bear the scars of childbirth, for them it may be a wonderful thing, a celebration of something beautiful to show for all the pain.

The Daily Post

#Linkyourlife

 

 

Unemployment or Sickness?

At the moment the time is mine,
To go each fortnight, wait and sign.
Your name is called from where you sit,
As needs must on benefit.

Your job search progress is dissected,
To see if income will be affected.
Since you are here, you must be fine.
Now in the unemployment line.
But actually you’re in the thick,
Since they decided you’re not sick.
Although you live quiet as a mouse,
Quite often unable to leave the house.

They ask if your circumstances have changed
Yes, you think you’ve become deranged!
by removing all of the help you could get,
guidelines and criteria, that until now you’d met.
You’re not yourself, your nerves are shot.
And into such a state you’ve got.
Out of place, here you’ve been sent
When around you, angry ones will vent.
Your safety concern, cause for alarm.
They’ve certainly lost all their charm!
Some people there just couldn’t care less,
That you have lost your sense of purpose.
Don’t look your best it’s frowned upon,
Like something special, your time is gone!

So as you continue to persevere,
Make sure you’ve no need to come here.
You’ve hit rock bottom, with no funds to pay
Attending here you continue to pray.
That some one will offer, a job they’ll give
To enable you once again to live.
A sense of satisfaction they’ll say,
When you go to work to start your day.
Just hope that that now once you’ve met,
Can’t see through what you try to forget.

You cope with demands come what may,
During the next part of your life you play.
So get back to work, ready or not,
Time looking through the next lot,
Of jobs you would never choose to do
If what had been coming, then you knew.
Don’t fit in.  Previously were decadent,
Now on for better things you’re meant.
They had you cheap, by then you’d started,
Took months before with them, you parted.
They say you learn from your mistake,
But experience is something you take
With you everywhere that you go,
When work is there, but wages are low.

Venturing Out

Stepping out slowly, almost tentative,
Your emotions heightened, sensitive.
You hear birdsong and start to listen,
A sudden emotion your eyes glisten.
Tears will flow upon your cheek,
Havoc on your emotions wreak.

Finally decided to leave your home,
There’s so many things as you roam.
An onslaught arriving on your senses,
Too much to handle, no defences.
People move around too quick,
A sudden encounter, you may feel sick.
But you have to try, come what may
To venture out, almost every day.

Just a small walk upon the road,
Need the release, such a heavy load.
A group of children always hustle,
Mother’s walking along will bustle.
Sights and sounds of the outside,
The instinct may be to run and hide.
But out there to the world you must return,
The change is that now you are willing to learn.

A small part of you, that you’re willing to give,
As you wander around where you live.
Exploring again, your steps you retrace,
Re-learning about this wonderful place.
Although you feel that your progress is slow,
Once out of the house again you know.
It’s been so long that you’ve been away,
One small step means you’ve found your way.
Don’t see you’re taking it too fast,
This recovery will have to last.

Fighting the urge of wanting to go.
No you must return to smiles and “Hello”
Not back to the safety of your four walls
Wake Up! This is your clarion call.
Life begins the moment you start,
So let it back in and open your heart.
To all that it has to offer,
When you feel that you’re getting better.