Happy St Andrews Day

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Since I have adopted Scotland as my true home over the past few years, is it any wonder that I am missing the place again already. I do have Scottish relations going way back, so it’s only fair to feel that it’s in my blood. Yes the wee one has settled in here down South for the time being and is behaving as though he can do what he likes along with the sulks and tantrums of the “terrible twos” when he doesn’t get it all his own way.  He will learn that even if you are a Malamute it doesn’t mean you have Carte Blanche to do as you please and house rules have to be followed. With an adopted pup though, there are going to be testing times, but on the whole he is settling well.

But I cannot deny, even though it’s only been a month since we came back that am missing our special part of our Scotland and our friends there and cannot wait to return. Although I know that I would not fare well up there at the moment now that it is so cold. It is cold here too now, suddenly this week, but heard from my friends there it was really cold. When a scot tells you that, then I know I wouldn’t be able to feel my toes for all the winter clothes I have.

Meanwhile friends old and new in Scotland and beyond, of you are doing anything remotely Scottish to celebrate this day, then I raise a glass to you and wish you a Happy St Andrews’ Day and invite you to soak up some of the wonderful culture wherever you may be.

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The Daily Post – Culture

Abandoned Buildings, Inspiration Indeed.

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My inspiration for this post comes from this article in my reader.

After the Final Curtain a post by Cheri Lucas Rowlands which shows some wonderful photographs by Matt Lambros.

I often see whilst perusing social media the shots of ancient places and abandoned buildings throughout our world and curiosity encourages me to take a look.   A part of me thinks that one day I would love to do a tour of such places, but then reality hits and it occurs to me that I don’t think I could cope with the sadness it would bring me.

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You see I have a love of old buildings and architecture in general and have always been able to see the possibilities in a place.  When I was younger, I found that by finding derelict buildings by the road whilst on holiday, churches, schools, old houses. It didn’t matter what the building’s previous use had been.  I always imagined it as a place to make a home.

It really fires the imagination for me, gets the cogs whirring and clicking and excitement builds.  That part of the process I would love.  But then the sadness when it had been left for so very long, I don’t know what effect that would have on my psyche, but I suspect not  a good one.  The fact that it had gone to waste for so many years for whatever reason, war, famine, time, recession and may not be able to be restored to it’s former glory hits home. These buildings, particularly the Theatres and Cinemas were built for the community and so many communities have suffered when these and other public buildings have been closed down.

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I guess that’s why when it came to finding our home, that’s why it was always going to be a doer upper.  It was never going to be a pristine box, with white walls and minimalist fixtures.  Give me a place with character, knocks, grazes, a history and somewhere that speaks to you, pulls at the emotions when you walk in and I am happy.  My place needs to be lived in, that is what makes it home to me.  If I ever came into a lot of money, then it would be one of the first things that I would search for, a lovely old building to breathe new life into. Of all the possible styles it would probably have a Deco feel to it, now that’s a tour I’d be tempted to do which would really inspire me.

The Daily Post – Transformation

Images: Morguefile.com

Away to Anstruther

Away to Anstruther right by the Sea,

A walk in the wind along the quay.

Such wildness and wonder & sights to behold.

Of seascape and boats and stories of old.

A place to sit and enjoy the view.

Of harbour and gulls with me and you.

Chips, salt & vinegar there for our tea.

This is such bliss for you & for me.

Observing the world as it passes us by,

Hearing the gulls as they saw squawk and they cry.

Watching the darkness come over to night.

Clouds over yonder Red sky delight.



Hello To The New Boy

Hello to the New Boy
Who has come to us to stay,
When we’ve got more used to him,
He’ll come to join the fray.
He is just a youngster, with character so large.
With kindness and good manners,
Through a doorway he won’t barge.
Will greet you with Hello paws,
Not uninvited climb.
And when asked whose is that Dog,
I’ll be proud to say, He’s mine.
Cuddles and sweet nature, will brighten every day
There’s lots of love to share and so much time to play.
Will bring to you a toy, so you’ll not be lonely or become sad
We’ve just adopted him, our soppy little lad.
He’s been sent to join us, to stay here till the end,
Hello to the New Boy, our little furry friend.
So as I welcome him and I am pleased to say,
Come on in my darling, Happy Gotcha Day!

Some Things ARE Better in Colour.

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This follows on from my post about painting from the other week. Here’s the link so that it makes more sense…

About Some Things, I don’t have a Clue!

Ok I admit it that I didn’t quite get around to “painting” a picture during this trip, however I did sketch something with the intention of adding colour or paint and even got around to colouring it, just to see what it would look like. The colours were from watercolour pencils mainly except there are never enough of the colours to go round, especially the different shades of green to colour the woodland so I had to add in some normal pencils too.

The end result… Ta Da!

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Friends old and New and Faith Restored

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img_3123On this trip, we have concentrated mainly on refilling the wood supply, not working on the house or garden, we have also in the past week, an extra week which we had not anticipated and I was extremely grateful for, we have ventured out visiting places nearby in the car and exploring our surroundings. In the summer months, we have not done this much as our time is better spent working here.

Being surrounded by woodland, we would not have thought that we could run out. But unfortunately, the woodshed was cleared by thieves whilst we were away and we had to scout for wood, some of our neighbours and new friends have really helped us out, in return, they have some wood which once cured, will be usable. There is plenty around here, except that it is not dry enough to burn or cut in most cases.

One of our new friends who hauled the Bears, both big and small out of a ditch two years ago when they had been run off the road. Has become a friend who is currently stood out the back chopping wood so that we will have a supply again when we return. He has been an absolute godsend to us, since our large logs were too big for me to manage with the small chainsaw, I had no hope of splitting them. I learned to use the chainsaw, having bought all the kit, for safety I was finally allowed to give it a go, only to find that the saw had been wrongly assembled and the chain was totally blunt, which is why it was a complete nightmare. Our friend serviced it for me and I was then able to use it and spent a happy day cutting up logs which was very satisfying.

We also hauled some trees down and put them in the woodshed to cut next time. Give it another chance, hope that they won’t get it in again and that it will still be there next time we return.

The wood pile is now awesome with our combined efforts and in return he will also have wood for the winter. It has been pointed out to us on this trip, that wood is such a valuable commodity and should not be given away lightly. We have been told that the price of firewood when you have to buy it is £100 per tonne. If you leave it laying about, people will make the journey just to take it, thankfully our cottage is not easy to get to, but nevertheless, we are not immune.

One thing we are still torn on is whether we should bring the log burner with us next time to install. It would really keep us warm here, but I guess it depends on my partner’s health and whether we have a horsebox in which to transport it. It probably weighs 20 stone, definitely takes two very strong people to lift it, but would be absolutely wonderful in the living room here. We were talking of furniture this trip, and he almost weakened to a sofa for the lounge, but we really need to fix the roof first. A leaky roof is more important. But I am working on ways to fix that.

Today we got some boards, the guys on a local building site gave them to us, little do they know that we could probably fix the main part of the roof with those, if only I could get up there with the ladders!
We have been given pallets, offered wood offcuts and people have also offered to deliver what we need to us quite often free of charge. The generosity of spirit has often caught us by surprise and right when we least expected it has renewed our faith in humanity.

We have been blessed with the kindness of people around us. Whilst others’ may seek to take advantage and have their own agendas’ if we can keep them at bay, then we will get on here just fine. We are choosing our friends more carefully now, rather than my old approach of taking people at face value until they do you a wrong. We have learned to tread a little more carefully here in Scotland, it is easy to get your wires crossed and an English sense of humour is often misunderstood but generally we have found that if you are good to people, then they are good to you.

The Daily Post – Transformation

Unwelcome Visitors. A frightening experience and a clear message.

Although this was written some months ago, 19/6/16 I felt that it was time to post it, since it was Halloween last night and the battle continues. The Daily Post – Eerie
Who are you?
What makes you think that I am an available vessel which you can enter?
You cannot occupy me. I am not for rent. Go away, Be Gone!

You cannot creep up on me, whilst I sleep, getting past my furry protector and wrap your arms around me, from behind holding me so tightly that I cannot escape. Burning under my skin, undetected stifling my scream so that it cannot escape. My mind screaming out louder and louder as I am brought to my senses by it but where there is no voice, willing it to stop.
You have no right to do this! To haunt my night and my thoughts. Who are you?
How dare you attempt to violate my sleep, leaving me fearful of the dark. You are not welcome here, be gone, vanish to where you came from. Return there, never to visit again, for you are not welcome here.
Get off my back, I will not bend to your will. I will remove myself from this burden, it has no hold over me.
I am not consumed by whatever this is. It does not belong here and whatever this is, is unwelcome.
I am safe, safe from this influence, I am calm. I am protected.
Whatever you are, my fire breathing dragon will set you free.
My body will not hold you, you have no place here within me.
My loved ones have my back, it is not yours to take. There is no room for a monkey on it.
I will not be swallowed up by anger, or hate, or confusion, or sickness.
My mind and body is safe. Not a haven for you, but for me where my good thoughts reign and are given space to grow. The results are beautiful and appreciated, not gnarled twisted and bitter.
There is no room for hate. I do not allow it space in my heart or mind.
Be gone Hate, there is no place for you here.

Whoever you are and whatever you are trying to achieve here, you have failed! Give up, Do not try any more, your attempts will be futile, you will fail every time because I am stronger now, than ever before. You cannot master me.
I choose my master, with care and love he does not control me, he loves, cherishes and supports me. Offering me strength and armour from influences like you.
So be gone, Back from whence you came.
Your cold hands, peeled from me, you cannot enter and take a hold. No fingers entwine around my chest, no embrace around my shoulders, for there is no room for you here. We are not available for rent or occupation. I am in control of my destiny, you have no say or influence.
Demons diminished, spirits be gone. Stop knocking at my window. Your time has passed, there is no room. I am not under attack, you will not win here, I will battle against you. So be gone, you are not welcome.

 

About Some Things, I don’t have a Clue!

img_7568It’s funny how some things you just know, deep down whilst other things you don’t have a clue about despite thinking that you do.

I was thinking this morning about the process of painting a picture. Something was a bit of a revelation about when people are up on hillsides looking at pretty things, with their easels and paint looking out over it all and deciding which bit of a wonderful landscape they will choose to paint.

Clearly I was not paying attention to things in my art class years ago, because it hadn’t occurred to me what happens first and it has held me back over the years, now as it turns out unnecessarily.

Faced with the blank page in front of me and thinking, Where do I start? What if I make a mistake? Will I mess it up? All these thoughts and many more have held me back from actually doing that thing, getting the paper, paints etc out. From creating a lovely picture to hang upon the wall. Of course it might not be lovely IF I actually mess it up, but the truth is I haven’t tried, through fear of failure. My art has suffered and with it, my creativity. Who holds me back, well yes the truth is it’s usually me.

I dreamed as a child of being a ballet dancer, where I danced beautifully on stage but in reality I cannot dance. I don’t have the confidence or coordination required.  I also dream of painting or drawing wonderful images, but settle for photography as the reality is so very different from my attempts.

But then a few weeks ago I was watching something on the TV, Grand Designs, (Well it is almost Autumn again and I will have to find something to watch on the television) Kevin McCloud, the presenter was up on a hillside with the man who was building his house. He had taken him there for inspiration, declaring that it would be time out from the build and since they both paint they would each do that. Watching them sitting there, they started to sketch out the view which reached out in front of them, on paper and sat there talking. And there is was… It must have sat in my subconscious after that until now. Later in the program, they showed the reveal of the almost finished house and hanging on the wall was the painted picture that the man had done. Of course it was beautiful, but then again he painted regularly.

I also noticed another painting where you could see the lines underneath the paint, why had I never thought about this before. Well, somehow it seemed as though I had a light bulb moment and when I come to think of it, it seems rather silly that I have never done this since leaving school. I quite often sketch pictures, usually of houses or landscapes and think, I only wish that I’d put more colour on there, but something more than colouring pencils. My painting fear does not extend to painting the house, objects etc it’s just when faced with the blank page.

So all of this time, I have only been seeing something half finished, it’s time to change that.

I have also sat down and thought about painting on many occasions, only to stop for fear of putting a brush stroke in the wrong place and having to turn it into something different. Paint seems to be such a permanent thing. I know that if I had to do that then that would be the one thing that would annoy me in the finished painting, the one thing that I could see that was wrong. So I didn’t. I guess as they say in America I have issues and somewhere in there is bound to be another metaphor. As I will be heading on up the hill at sometime soon, where I will be surrounded by the beauty and the scenery for a little while at least, when I finally get there, I may just take my sketch pad some paint and finally colour my world a little bit brighter.

Images: Morguefile & My Own

Twenty One – Remembering The Girl in the Blue Dress

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This post is in Celebration, the fact that we made it to our 21st Anniversary and were able to celebrate with a day together doing some of the things we used to do. Yesterday for the first time in so long, we felt able to smile freely, laugh and talk about the girl in the blue dress, who walked everywhere and who he kept bumping into.

At the time we first met, there had been a series of commercials for The Post Office on the television, explaining all the many services and items that were available there. The catchphrase of this particular campaign was “It’s amazing what you can pick up at The Post Office!”

It sure is….
On a spring day, I was walking into town via the beach, I had things on my mind and it was a good hours walk from home to the High Street. I didn’t drive at the time and had very little work, so I walked everywhere. It was hot and I walked into the small post office near to the walkway down to the beach, to get a drink I was met by the sight of a small child of about 4 years old being tipped upside down and spun around and shrieking with laughter by a man in the shop. There is something quite lovely about hearing unexpected laughter from a child, especially when you have things on your mind and at the time my Grandmother was very ill and I was worried about her. As the tickling began of the postmasters’ daughter, between giggling, she begged him to stop as she was breathless from laughing.

I purchased my drink and the throwaway remark as I was about to leave the shop, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” He stopped and turned and smiled at me, I smiled back laughing and left. It was the first of several unexpected meetings, time we met.

A few weeks later, I was walking again, by then it was very warm but I liked the beach better when it was quiet. I had walked for three hours to meet a friend to go out on their boat for the afternoon and had missed them and was returning home hot and tired. I had some walking boots which had a heel and I loved them since I could walk for miles. I was wearing a lovely soft blue summer dress I had bought on the day my Grandmother died. I was in town that day and saw it. Thought it was a lovely dress, fitted and flared and bias cut which was very flattering and a perfect fit when I tried it on. It had crossover straps at the back and was the perfect summer dress. I thought about buying it and placed it back on the rail. I couldn’t really afford it. As I walked around the other shops, my thoughts we drawn back to the dress, My Nanny loved me in pretty dresses, she would have liked that one. It was blue, my favourite colour and was well made. I scratched around in my purse and found I had just enough to buy it and was due to be paid in a couple of days. I had food and electric, so I purchased the dress. She would have wanted me to have it.

As I walked up from the beach I thought I would make a phone call.
There was someone in there, piles of change on the side making a call. I waited for some time in the hope that he would vacate and I would be able to use the phone and some 15 minutes later he was not showing any signs of doing so. I tapped on the window, he opened the door and I asked if he was going to be long since I also needed to make a call. As he turned to look at me, it was him. A few moments later he came out puffing a cigar to allow me to use the phone. I made my phone call and afterwards we sat on the bench outside the train station and began to talk, he had a wonderful voice, like Sean Connery, the Scottish actor who played James Bond. He was very well spoken and quite obviously knowledgeable. He was just under 6ft Tall and had dark hair, a nice face and beautiful dark brown eyes. He was quite chunky, good muscles and a great pair of legs. I knew this as he was wearing shorts, he was a few years older than me.

It was wonderful to listen to him and about an hour and a half later we had been sitting there and decided to walk together. As we walked we continued talking and when we reached a few roads from my home, we were both thirsty. I had £1 in my purse, enough for a drink in the local pub. He had run out of change with his telephone calls.
We laughed about it, walked up the road and into the garden of the pub, where I spent my last pound on a glass of coke with two straws. We sat in the beer garden and shared it and continued to talk, he was good at listening as well as talking and we seemed to get along very well. He explained that he would be going to Spain during the next week as he often spent time there with Family and Business.
After about four hours of talking with each other, it was time to leave. The afternoon was turning into evening and the pub was getting lively, he said he would walk me home. I only lived at the next corner. He asked for my telephone number and as we said Goodbye, I thought if he’s off to Spain, then that’s probably the last I’ll see of him then. I never expected anything else.

Meanwhile a week or so later, I met someone who asked me on a date, he was younger than me, which was a first and we began to spend time together, but it didn’t last long. He was just too young for me and it stopped being fun in no time at all. We dated for a couple of months and then I tried to let him down gently.
Unfortunately, when the time was up the boy didn’t want to leave and so used to sit outside my house in his car all night and hammer on the door in the early hours. He was being a bit of a pest and I kept letting him in to talk to me.

Later that Summer, there was a knock at the door. I had visitors and went down to the main door to answer it. The Man from the Post Office was back. I was shocked to see him. I told him I had visitors, so he couldn’t come in. He asked me on a date a few days later he would pick me up for lunch. I was really pleased that he had come back. I had enjoyed his company and thought I would again.

It struck me that I was not the usual type of girl he dated. I think that he liked girls who spoke better than I did, were a bit more refined and classy. What on earth would I wear to a proper date with him?
I looked like a scruffy secretary, in an oversized jacket I had borrowed and skirt, blouse and heels. I also was so nervous that I put on my posh voice, tried to pronounce everything properly and I did not want to show off.
He saw through it in an instant.
He took me out to lunch to a place some way away from where we lived. I hoped that this was not because someone might see us together. Previous relationships had made me a tad cynical. It was the place that my Grandparents had gone on their first date. We had a lovely meal and part of the way through it. He turned and said to me, “You don’t need to try so hard to impress me, we spoke for hours before and I like the real you.” He took me home after the long lunch with lots more talking and arranged to see me again.,

I had no idea how long it would last, if I was what he wanted or he was what I wanted, or where it would go from there, little did I know that we would be celebrating our anniversary twenty one years later, or that we would go through so much together and I would still be with him and still in Love with him.

The Daily Post -Together  Image:Morguefile.com

The Teddy Parcel

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The Teddy Parcel.

A knock was at the door today, A man was standing there.
He called, “He’s home and here to stay, I’ve brought your Little Bear”.
The most precious teddy parcel, he placed there in our hand.
Have fought to try to explain it, but they don’t really understand.
It is so very important, than we should bring him home.
For he was never happy, when he was left alone.
Wanted him back with his Mummy and his Dad.
Safely with our family, our furry little lad.
I clutched the teddy parcel and held it to my chest.
We cuddled as a family, the one we loved the best.
Put the kettle on and poured our favourite drink,
Brought it with your biscuit and didn’t stop to think.
We gathered up your blanket and put it in the sun,
As we talked some more about you and where you used to run.
Now although we cannot touch you, since you’re resting in the box,
The fact that you’re now with us helps, the pain it often blocks.
As you are in our hearts and always on our mind,
The memories we will cherish and the fur we’ll often find.
We’re watching and just hoping, that when you’re ready and in time
You’ll show you’re thinking of us and then send to us a sign.
So I will look for butterflies and feathers on the breeze,
And look out for you to smile at me and bless me when I sneeze.

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The Daily Post – Longing