A Million Thoughts

A million thoughts crashing through my head,

As I lay here in my bed.

Like the charge of the light brigade.

Only no one coming to my aid.

Running so fast my brain can’t catch them,

Not one flitting through and back again.

What am I thinking, is any of it conscious?

Staying put would be advantageous.

Sudden thoughts of this and that.

Wondering just where I’m at.

Thoughts are completely unstructured

Not a moments sleep that I’ve mustered

So quickly they disappear,

Will I remember is my fear.

Replaced by one after another,

As I hide under the cover.

They arrive thick and fast.

Will any of them try to last.

Taking away all hope of sleep.

Can’t even imagine counting sheep.

Are they plans, hopes or dreams.

Is not all as it seems.

A child’s voice in my head,

I don’t recall what he said.

The laughter momentarily filled the air,

But I know that no one’s there.

What to do with this onslaught,

When I am so deep in thought.

And when the storm of this has passed,

I’ll finally rest and sleep at last.

Daily Prompts – Puzzled

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Release.

Suddenly awake again without warning. The thud of a heartbeat filled her ears just like the bass sound of music in a passing car. Thud thud thud thud. Her heart suddenly racing and she wondered why.

Looking up as her eyes grew accustomed to the surroundings she noticed the thin figure in the darkness leaning against the doorframe. As it often did but this time just standing there considering it’s next move.

As the dark figure loomed in the doorway, its shape changing with every breath she lay there wide eyed. As it began to head towards her she sent it away. Those all too familiar words, Be gone. You do not belong here. Just get out.

She wished that it would leave her alone. It was never a happy feeling, she didn’t trust it for she had felt its cold grip on many occasions as it grabbed at her, always waking her from her slumber. But she did not allow it to strike fear in her any more, it did not have that power, as time went on she was gaining strength again. It was just an annoyance that disturbed her.

So was it a dream? An annoying recurring dream, that changed and mutated along with the dark character, shifting its shape as she questioned her thoughts.

She waited…. the darkness left and with it, came a warm feeling from her feet through her legs like she had felt previously. Again it moved through her and as it reached her head it pounded. Lightheaded as though to be let out as the light danced around the room above her. Little flickers of blue and white, it was usually blue and white but occasionally red and green and yellow too.

The lights although barely visible swirled above her and danced around her, she wondered what they were. A trick of light perhaps her conscious mind thought, or had they some deeper meaning? Whatever their purpose she gained comfort from them whenever they were there. A warmth spread around her like a blanket of reassurance and she felt totally safe. Somehow empowering her along the way and equipping her for some unknown battle. Suddenly she let out her breath and as she did so a sound not dissimilar to a popping bulb and then she saw it, clearly above her in big white letters RELEASE

She took another deep breath and let it out the warmth spreading through her body once again a calm feeling took over as though a storm had passed her by. Some kind of lucky escape.

As she lay there willing her breathing to return to normal she thought about what had happened and wondered as to why. What was its message or purpose?

She grabbed her phone, looked at the clock 3.33am again what did it all mean?

Daily Prompt -Surreal

The Moonlit Mosey

DSC_0094Off for a moonlit mosey,
Not really sure quite where.
But we have left the cosy,
Corner and my chair,
The light it shines so brightly,
It beckons us along.
As we tiptoe lightly,
And gently hum our song.
Tread softly as we go,
Don’t wake the sleeping hare.
Or others that we know,
Are gently snoozing there.
Some cross our path to see us,
On this lovely moonlit night.
Or wander past us in the brush,
To keep them out of sight.
Some pass us by so blatantly,
They’re showing us no fear.
For this is natures’ safe place
And all are welcomed here.

A Night Out, Gone wrong…

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This WordPress prompt suddenly reminded me of a situation I found myself in many years ago. It is part of the reason I rarely go out these days and feel generally safer in more relaxed environments.  Although the experience was contained, it was not one that I wished to repeat, however I was unfortunate when it happened to me again several years later. Now they are called Date Rape Drugs and there is alot more information readily available. Back then when your drink was spiked, there was little clue to the unsuspecting as to what with, or how to recover from it. I was just lucky that I did.

It was supposed to be a great night out, we had stayed at a friends Mum’s for the weekend. I had been looking forward to it for ages.

All dressed up we were met by her Uncle who was escorting us for the evening, nothing to worry about, we were in safe hands.

We queued for ages and finally walked into the club, the music was pumping and we were looking forward to a great night out in Birmingham.

As we bought our drinks, two guys came up to us and began talking. I had bought my friend a drink and myself a bottle of beer. I must have taken my eyes off my own drink as I passed hers across. I don’t know how else he could have slipped it into the bottle, but I did not get more than half way down it. Within minutes I felt strange, suddenly woozy and detached from the situation, as though I was on the outside looking in and my legs went.  My friend took my arm and guided me away from them into a corner, telling them to leave me alone. It was not to be the night or weekend I had hoped for.  I began to slur, my words were in my head, but I just couldn’t form them.  I did not know what was happening to me, was I having a stroke or something. I could not even tell her what had happened and it was scary, so scary.  My eyes pleaded with her not to leave me alone.  I could not stand, or walk properly.  She stayed watching over me, her Uncle keeping an eye on me whilst she danced a short distance away, they took it in turns throughout the evening.  We could not leave, we just had to wait it out for the drug to pass, so that my legs would work and for my heart rate to stabilise and she kept bringing me water, I was so thirsty.

A few hours later, I was able to stand.  I had no further recollection of the night, how we got home or any comprehension of the state that I was in.  They sneaked me into her mother’s house. I slept for hours, I was ill. I did not know how I would get home safely. I cannot recall how I did. I remember the next day, her mother assuming that I was the worse for wear. My friend explained what had happened and only when the Uncle verified what had happened did she believe us.

It was the last time that I stayed there and I did not venture to Birmingham again for a night out. I was lucky, my friends were around me to keep me safe.

via Daily Prompt: Slur

The Man on our Walk

It was growing dark. The man shuffled slowly towards us, dragging his foot as he went. His shoes worn lopsided from the effort and his clothes dishevelled. His breathing was laboured, he shot me a strange look as he passed by us and I wondered why. I did not worry and did not feel under threat.

The dog was suspicious leaning his body into mine protective in his stance. The puppy with fluffy ears and long legs suddenly wolf like. There to defend me if required. Forgetting for a moment that he did not need to guard we were just out. He did not make a sound.

The man shuffled on past continuing on his way, scowling to wherever his journey took him. Moments later the puppy looked up at me and wagged his tail, whatever danger he suspected had passed. I stroked his ears, reassurance that all was well as we continued on our walk. Our breath visible in the night air, thick around our heads, clothing pulled tightly around our bodies for warmth, striding purposefully home with my furry protector.

Hurly Burly

Thinking of the Hurly burly,
In my brain when I’m due up early.
No rhymes have come for almost a week,
This is not exactly like counting sheep.
Lay me down again you know,
That this is the moment, it starts to flow.
But by way of recompense,
It kind of makes perfect sense.
The brain is busy, the fever gone
And into my room, the bright moon shone.
Waiting for my head to burst,
As I quench the writers’ thirst.
I will write in present tense,
There is no form of defence.
Emotions out and feeling weak,
No chance for me to even speak.
At the end I must concur,
That the night becomes a blur.
It seems as though it’s been an age,
Since writing words on the blank page.
Lack of sleep, Oh what fun
As often, off my mind will run.
A free spirit, don’t try to tame
As it plays this silly game.
Feelings deep, behind the eyes,
Not the time to criticize.
Rest a while as you lament,
When you suffer this torment.
The lights are out, the room is black,
There really is no turning back.
Your own fault, who lit the fuse,
Don’t hold them back there is no use.
Hope the words will come out right,
When I’m awake half the night.
Feelings will come into play,
If I awake at break of day.

Thankful you are mine.

In the beauty of the night,
Imagining the stars align.
I must admit It does feel right,
Here you stay my guardian.

I guess some things are meant to be,
Me with you and you with me.
Who would have figured years ago,
That away from me you’d go.
I’d pushed you to such a degree,
In a terrible state I couldn’t see.
But thankful of the day you returned,
So sad to lose, my heart it yearned.
But you arrived, when you came back
Here to love and not attack.

You were reserved we took it slow,
was so much you had yet to know.
Removed me from hurt and distress,
A loving place to repair the mess.
Wrapped me up in arms so strong,
Wondered why it took so long.
Sat there with me when I was unwell,
We have at times been through hell.
Picked up the pieces of me to mend,
Side by side with me my friend.
Many years have now since passed,
But our love is built to last.