byindiablue

It’s interesting buying things from eBay. No this post is not actually about the delights of eBay itself, there is plenty of advertising for that. I have been buying things from this particular platform for about 13 years now and have in the past few been also selling on there. It is one of those things, sometimes your sale goes easily and other times, it is a complete pain, with awkward people who expect far too much from the object you are selling, or leave the dreaded rubbish feedback which blights your account until the end of time. Or until the eBay team read the messages between you and decide that it shouldn’t be there and remove it.

This post is about the people you meet as you purchase things and collect them, over the years we have met some lovely people and some downright horrible ones. If you are buying from them, you make it a very quick collection and try not to share anything personal with them.

Then there are others, who by meeting them, they get you thinking about them, you share a coffee and a little of your life history and you get on really well. You leave feeling as though you have gained from the experience. Sometimes they bring you a gift, like the man who brought me a tray of duck eggs and a bottle of wine from his smallholding when he collected a trailer. The little girl who brought me a loom band bracelet she had made when she collected her sister’s horsebox. The man who turned up with flowers and chocolates. The kindness of others is always to be appreciated and like me if you often go the extra mile to help, just because you can, sometimes nice people turn up. Don’t get me wrong, we have had our share of unkind ones too, who have ripped us off taken our money, or not described something properly, or it has been damaged when it arrived. But for the main, we take as we find people and they do likewise in return.

Over the years, we have bought cars, things, furniture, trailers, horse boxes, caravans, clothing, almost a house on occasion but pretty much anything and everything via eBay and it has served us very well. We haven’t always purchased well though, some of the vehicles have caught us out and needed expensive repairs, but generally if you check something over before you part with your money and you know what you are looking for, then it’s still a good place to buy from.

On Sunday we did a 140 mile round trip to meet a lovely couple. We went to collect a trailer and when we arrived, we were a little disappointed as it was smaller than they had advertised. We could have walked away from it at this point, since its smaller size made it less suited to our needs, but we had driven the distance so we might as well take it and it was not expensive. My partner had a lovely chat on the phone with the man before we set off, to make arrangements to pick it up, it has taken a couple of weeks due to conflicting schedules. But we arrived there and met the man and his wife. The men immediately got along and since I had turned up with some flowers for his wife, she made me coffee, real coffee, which was very much appreciated.

Clifford was in the music business before he retired, he mentioned this before we arrived. Having worked in the entertainment business myself, I wondered what he would be like. Whether he was a musician himself, or would turn out to be a promoter full of his own importance. I needn’t have worried, it turned out he was a charming man, in his mid 70’s, with the carefree attitude of someone who has done well for himself. He wrote and composed songs and has enjoyed a comfortable living from it over the years. He kept himself healthy with various sports and martial arts, which is something the men had in common and they shared interests in many things. The house with its enormous garden looked unpretentious, lived in and enjoyed not there for show, just people getting along with their lives. It was not fussy or overly decorated. It was homely and I rather liked it. It had a pool in the back garden and some outbuildings and some rather lovely fields and woods surrounding it. Lots of greenery and a pretty and maintained garden. The sort of place which I would hope to have when I was their age, which is still some way off for me. I didn’t want to put her out but Dominique made coffee for me anyway and as the men talked and they showed us around their sprawling garden discussing their schooling and growing up bizarrely, it was clear that they got along just fine and that Clifford had a story or two to tell.

We went inside to talk as it was late afternoon and getting cooler. She was a smart and interesting French lady, a few years older than me. In no time at all we realised that we also got along well. We stood in the kitchen, discussing what we did for work, whilst the men talked school, history and other things. I told her that currently I am writing a book, having just finished my first one of adult poetry, it was now ready for publication, I hoped. She was genuinely interested in hearing about it and asked me how the writing came about and I explained that it was part of my therapy, an outlet for my thoughts, following injury and trauma. That I had written over the years, but done nothing with it until recently and that now I write a blog. Although at some point I may have to get other work too, I was taking the time to do this for me. I told her that a couple of years ago I had become involved with a health products company but that due personal reasons felt and with a lack of self confidence that it was the wrong time to throw myself into a public forum, where you have to sell to people and speak to people you don’t know. Despite my good intentions when I began I just wasn’t ready for that and so had let it slip into the background having done very little with it, but it was there to pick up with again when I am ready, although I did not know when that would be and I secretly hope that I will be able to in time.

As we talked I found out that Dominique is a Corporate Coach. A person who big companies employ to get the best out of their staff and improve their self confidence to boost productivity. She told me a little about her work, that she enjoys it and gets to travel and does a lot of remote working also. She also told me about the benefits of “EFT or Tapping” I had heard of it before but not looked into it, she explained that she had found it reduces stress and she finds it really helpful. I asked her more and she told me briefly how it works, that it is something that you do for yourself involving the meridians of the body. The Acupressure points throughout the body can be quite literally tapped with the fingers to relieve stress and trauma influences and calm the body, a bit like acupuncture without needles. Now as you might know I prefer a holistic approach wherever possible and have been a bit stressed out lately, so I was very interested to hear about this and thought, I’d definitely give it a go. I have had acupuncture in the past and found it very useful for pain relief, but also suffered nerve pain from a misplaced needle too, so this method definitely appeals.

Early on in our conversation, I sensed that she was holding herself back, but still remaining polite. She was more than a little distracted but soon explained that her mother was very ill in France and had been taken to hospital that morning, she apologised but she had to keep checking for messages. I understood, but she kept coming back to speak to me whilst the men sorted out the trailer. For a moment, there was a visible glimmer of a girlish quality, laughter as she demonstrated the tapping technique to me, she reminded me so much of one of my friends who I have not seen for a while.

Dominique suggested that I look up a couple of websites and watch some YouTube videos on how to do it properly she wrote them down for me and suggested I give it a go, if I wanted to. No pressure but it might help oh and it also won’t cost anything.
This lady may have just given me a present in this conversation. She wrote the websites down for me and as it turned out I had heard of one of the people Nick & Jessica Ortner. I had signed up for an email to “The Tapping Solution” a while ago, but had not looked into it fully yet. As usual other things had taken a precedence recently and the doing things for me, time out from everything else has only been happening to write very occasionally.
I resolved to look it up and read those emails.

We were there for several hours, we had difficulties with the trailer, since the size of the tow hitch was different to our towing gear on the vehicle, Clifford had to adapt it to fit and it took a while. But what was lovely was that by time we left there, we felt that we had been treated more like visiting friends than someone who had just gone to collect a trailer and they asked us to stay in touch with them. We were hugged and invited to call again if ever we were down that way.

I recently saw a quote which resonates with me, it said that “Your Energy Introduces You Even Before You Speak” I believe this to be true. I have met many people over the years, some I have taken an instant like to and they have been good, kind people some have become firm friends. You can tell a lot from someone upon a first meeting, the first impressions do count. Some call it a hunch, or a gut instinct, or a vibe. Whatever you choose to call it, in deciding last year that I would follow my instincts when it came to meeting new people, I have been better protected. There are other people who on meeting them I instinctively up my guard and don’t like, I can’t always put my finger on why at the time, but usually my instinct has proved me right, they have turned out to be people with alterior motives or who are just downright nasty. In misplacing my trust in them, usually by giving them the benefit of the doubt I have got hurt and gone through all sorts of pain, or put myself in places I should not have been. I hope that in future, I will learn from that mistake.

But what I am thinking about today is that it makes such a difference when you meet nice people and restores your faith in humankind and I would much rather spread a little happiness.