The Back Garden…
From the Front Step.
This is our view as we arrived at the cottage. It’s overgrown, more so than last year when we arrived midsummer I think, but it will soon die back again and we won’t have time to clear it all on this short trip.
But we are home. I wonder how long it will be before we have gone native. It used to take Kato about 24 hours, before he got used to the sights and sounds around him. A huge sleep in our house and out to his favourite spot to look at the view, followed by a walk around the perimeter. Figuring out what had changed whilst he was away.
This time it was just us walking about. We opened the house up and got the luggage in made a cup of coffee and sat out on the step. Looking at his favourite spot.
Suddenly my partner jumped up, come on. It’s time. He got the ashes we had saved for the purpose and we stood by his favourite spot and said Welcome Home our Darling Boy, you will always have a part of you in Scotland as we scattered them to the wind. I prayed that he would be happy to be here, that he would now rest wherever he wished to be and that we would still feel his presence whenever we needed to. We wiped away tears, as we have done every day since then as we spend time here, it hasn’t got any easier for us that he is no longer here.
He is in our thoughts constantly. I guess that we are still in grief for our boy, despite our attempts at carrying on.
So, about going native…
How long did it take? Well we still felt like holiday makers for a couple of days, we got supplies from the shops and funny looks because our accents are so different coming from the south. But within about 24 hours, a few of the local phrases and the hint of an accent had begun to creep into the vocabulary.
The water up here is different in taste. The air is clearer and the light brighter, but it always feels like home at a slower pace and we settle right back in.
I realised yesterday that I have not looked in the mirror for five days, there is one on the wall, but it’s positioned a little too high for me to see into, so I haven’t bothered. Normally this would bother me, on trips to the shops etc, but this time it hasn’t. I only put on Mascara to go and visit one of my friends the other day, other than that, my face has been completely free of make up and it hasn’t bothered me at all. But I do remember to use moisturiser each day and cleanse the soot off at night.
I did look in the mirror yesterday after that thought occurred to me, but only since I had been collecting kisses from puppies at the supermarket and needed to wash it.
I have the wild hair to go with it, but am happier than I have been in months. It’s so good to be away from the normality, back to basics and thinking about what we use and recycle up here.
I saw a field mouse run through the back of the house the other night in the old croft. It was only out the back but I will have to keep an eye and make sure that our food supplies are kept secure, last night as I sat in the caravan one ran over my foot out from under one of the seats, startled that I was there. Usually by this time of the year, it would have the caravan to itself and all would be quiet, almost hibernation. I don’t see the point of setting traps when we do not live here all the time, it’s only one or two in different places and as long as I don’t keep food where they can get to it, I see that they have as much right to shelter here as I do.
Meanwhile we are enjoying the peace and serenity of the place with all the wildlife that surrounds us. As my partner sat enjoying a cup of coffee, a whole family of deer, Stag, Doe and Fawn wandered up to take a look at him and meet him on the path outside our door.
Last night in the twilight, of a beautiful moon we heard the owls as they flew across the garden, over the trees which bend to the wind calling out to each other, life continuing and nature at its best.
This morning, he called me to “Quickly come and look,” there was a beautiful bird of prey swooping down into the field, it was there for a while. We stood and watched it in the sunshine before the rain came. I always collect the beautiful speckled flyaway feathers that I find, as there are often hawks here, occasionally Eagles fly overhead, but usually the smaller birds. I take the feathers back South to remind me, but it’s good to be back here in the midst of it all.
It is raining again, for the umpteenth time today, we have mist across the fields and the wind blowing the clouds across, it will pass and we will be warm inside.