It sometimes feels as though too much.
Indescribable feeling, not unreal as such.
Fatigued, exhausted from it all.
Setting myself up for a fall?
I try to sleep, but sleep won’t come.
Nowhere from it that I can run.
I worry it will swallow me whole
Falling down this great big hole.
I feel the senses overload,
As I travel on this road.
Sometimes uncontrollable quakes,
After which my body aches.
Often feel as though bound and chained.
When I have felt my energy drained.
All the senses heightened here,
Shaking, sweating cloaked in fear.
Sounds so loud, then they are gone.
But they tell me nothing’s wrong.
Suddenly I’m temporarily deaf,
Frightening leaving me bereft.
I asked them the problem to address,
But they say it’s caused by stress.
I tried the calm. To meditate.
Can’t force the quiet, myself I berate.
My voice has changed, I cannot shout.
When I try to let it all out.
Swollen throat I almost choke,
Sending the message my body has broke?
My mind and body feel detached,
Suddenly, became ill matched.
At this time I feel bereaved.
For what’s been lost, I am aggrieved.
I rest a while and floating free,
Willing just to return to me.
The blood is pounding around my head,
Surging, thoughts fill me with dread.
With gritted teeth and clenched jaw,
My muscles aching and so sore.
Is this real pain or anxiety
there’s changes needed to just be.
Cannot just stay powerless,
Wanting to relieve the stress.
A deeper meaning I search to find,
Whilst hoping it’s not just in my mind.