Unsuitable Shoes and Walking Barefoot

Barefoot

It never ceases to amaze me that the oddest things return to my memory. This afternoon I am thinking of unsuitable shoes. Or specifically unsuitable shoes for the office scenario, now it could have been an article about the office and the delights of working from home which I read earlier. https://tomhocknell.wordpress.com/2016/06/27/how-to-work-in-an-office-a-guide/
Which I thought was great, but something crept back into my subconscious and reminded me of a job I undertook a couple of years ago as a Lettings agent. I had turned my foot and did not know at the time that I had fractured one of the bones in it.

All that I knew was that I was limping, in pain and shoes were uncomfortable. It was part of the new job that I was required to be on my feet a lot and walking around the locality showing people houses. It was also the middle of summer a heatwave and having just been in the job a few days, had to rely upon my existing wardrobe capabilities.
That was when my boss mentioned it, that I should “rethink my footwear for work and find something a bit more business like for the office”. Funnily enough I didn’t think that plain black open toed sandals with a low heel would be an issue. But he obviously did, they weren’t dressy enough. I made the mistake of wearing high heels for my interview, which I fell off of getting out of the car and was in agony when I walked the short distance to the office. But having been offered the job at the time I did not want to walk to my car, drive it half a mile to an appointment then drive it back, by the time I had returned not only would the car be driving appallingly, but it would take twice as long for each appointment. Also some of the properties which I had to attend, I was not happy to leave my car anywhere near. The area was not exactly salubrious.

But, I did think that it was a strange thing to mention. Now if I had turned up in a T-shirt and jeans where I was required to wear a suit, I could have understood it. Perhaps it was that the guys in the office had to wear suits and shoes for work, but my shoes were no more offensive than the other girls, although the heels were not as high.
I did explain that I may have broken my foot and normal service would be resumed once it had healed.

But today this got me thinking again, that actually I do have an odd assortment of shoes, in bright colours. I have always had a creative colour scheme when it comes to footwear, but obviously toned it down for the office environment where you are expected to wear business attire. I was rather spoiled for this where I worked previously with a load of creatives and there was no dress code, other than smart casual, so anything went really, except that when I wore read shoes someone complained, he didn’t like the colour. It wasn’t just limited to clothing and footwear though and he was rather out of luck since my car was also red at the time. I may as well have just said, don’t look in my direction then. Oh those were the days…
So here I am reminiscing about such a time and grateful for the moment that my writing from home means that I can wear exactly what I want, when I want. Oh it’s going to be tough when I have to return to a workplace in so many ways. Meanwhile, I will wear blue suede shoes, pink nubuck, red leather, jade trainers, denim mules or my favourite old flip flops or suede fur lined boots on cold days and thoroughly enjoy the freedom that I currently have, on the days when I don’t have to dress for an occasion of course.

Or I shall even continue to be barefoot as I have throughout most of the summer months? I find that there is somehow less strain on the feet, less leg cramp in the night and I am calmer when barefoot around the house and garden.  A bit more grounded and comfortable in my surroundings, even when stressed out. I have not extended this to walking out in public, no further than the garden like this although I know there are many people who are able to do so, but I found this great graphic which reminded me of many of the benefits of being barefoot, it’s a short-lived Summer fancy though, since in the winter it is one of the first of my body parts to feel the cold.

 

Photograph Credit – Facebook David Avocado Wolfe

Writing up the Past and A Pair of Shoes.

In the last few weeks I have been working on a novel, which relates to aspects of my past, so I have been digging deeply without trying to let it swallow me up. It has been difficult to both recall and write about. So the novel itself may be a long way off. Although I have started writing, I have been relying upon memories which have not all been easy to dig up again and so dealing with the demons which inevitably come out to play in the process. All whilst trying to maintain the status quo and a happy home life. It has been a bit of a strain and the posts over the past couple of weeks have been up and down along with my emotions and thoughts.

It feels quite cathartic to have finally typed up all my poems which have languished in the loft all these years, after finding them last week. There would have been 40 of them. A nice round number (and I do like those) if there weren’t two missing, perhaps I threw them away in disgust a reminder of a love that once was, but that is unlikely. I wrote an index of them all along with the dates they were written, even approximately if I didn’t know the actual one. There are bound to be others kicking about in notebooks, handbags etc which I may find years from now, the one I wrote for my friends wedding still eludes me, along with the other items which I have yet to find. I fear moving in case one of the items I have been searching for, gets disposed of, so I will continue to hunt for it until I can find it again, although that may take some time. Meanwhile, whatever gets thinned out is getting checked over very thoroughly for that piece of jewellery until it turns up.

I have tried really hard to not judge myself too harshly since I started to go through them, whilst muttering “Gullible child” under my breath quite a lot. The facts of the matter are that I wrote all of these during the ages of 16-20 and I was young and sometimes very foolish back then. There are a lot about my “Loves” from way back then. At least I can rest assured that I have grown up a lot since then. It’s funny how the inner voice conversations go though, when you read something going back that far about yourself. I found myself thinking about my transformation over the past year or so and telling myself, “Who are you trying to Kid, you are still the same person as when you wrote them“, whilst arguing the fact with my inner voice. I am not! (she shouts like a five year old, almost stamping her foot) Lots of years have gone by and I know that I have learned a lot, however it has not been a joyful few days and quite emotional and I have probably been rather teenager like at times. Just wanting to get it done in the single minded way, which isn’t really fair. So I have also been trying hard to get other things done for the family too, so that they aren’t left out. However I have still been able to relate to the person I was when I wrote them, not the ones which are about the Loves in my life, but about the feelings instead.

I will share only some of them, others’ I have deemed “not fit for consumption,” so will stay where they are, I resisted the urge to edit the hell out of them although some of them have been slightly tweaked, they are raw like I was back when they were written and they would lose their integrity and make them something new. Maybe that would be a good thing after all, but as yet I am undecided.

Anyway, here’s one I wrote and do want to share with you, It‘s called A Pair of Shoes, I wrote it 23 years ago. I laughed when I read it again, thinking that even way back then, I loved a metaphor. The shoes did actually exist, now if only I could remember which ones they were….

A Pair of Shoes

At the moment, I feel like a pair of shoes…. 

I bought them two years ago.
They’ve been in the box ever since.
I like them.
But I’ve never actually “Needed” them.
They might be useful at some point.
Occasionally I take them out and look at them.
I didn’t want to get rid of them.
Sometimes I try them on for size and they’re comfortable.
Then I put them away,
Until next time.