Isn’t it strange?

I am constantly amazed as to how even though it is sometimes painful, I seem to dwell upon the past so much.  There is so much in it which I would rather forget, yet it haunts me and will not leave, opening up from time to time things long forgotten.  Like the proverbial plaster ripping which opens the wound again, just as it has begun to heal.

That’s not to say that all of the past was bad, far from it in fact.  I have many moments which I also dwell on because they bring happiness, memories of loved ones, experiences and moments which I would not want to lose.

I find that sometimes, a thought will pass and something within me just reaches out and grabs it.  Something clings on instead of letting it go, suddenly in that moment I can relive it.  I am there, in the moment.  Wouldn’t it be great if at that point, in times where things have gone wrong, or pain is caused I could put them right, change the way things went. To be able to make them better, remove the hurt that may have been caused.  Extend the happiness. If only…