In the Garden

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In the garden.

 

In the garden, the sun on my skin.

Wait for the transformation to begin.

Always have to pull out the weeds,

Now it’s time to plant some seeds.

Time to get my hands in all the earth,

The starlings sit sharing their mirth.

What wonders will our eyes befall?

After we have done it all.

Grass to cut, New pots to fill,

Has it taken, won’t know until

New growth and leaves appear,

Signal the start of each new year.

 

Buds and tendrils begin to grow,

Be careful with the water flow.

Not too little and not to much,

Get it right and as such.

Your garden it will start to flourish,

With blooms aplenty that you’ll cherish.

When it’s done a wonderful thing,

Here to enjoy in Summer and Spring.

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The Atmosphere of the Ballet

The other day I spent a wonderful afternoon watching the Ballet with some of my family.  I must admit that my enjoyment of it was made even better, by an elderly lady who sat alongside us with her daughter.  She made me smile as she hummed along to all the music and later commented after a particularly lengthy dance with just two of the dancers, that “they were nice, now on to the next ones” followed by “Oh dear, they are back again“ when they returned to the stage for the next dance.  She had the same sort of deadpan way with words as my dear friend and late Mother in Law. A wonderful Lady who was with me in spirit on the first Mothering Sunday we have spent without her.  But it made me feel close to her for a moment and relive some of my memories of her, albeit vicariously.

Atmosphere of the Ballet

The costumes, the backdrops, the music starts

Senses are heightened it plays on the heart.

The Orchestra seated, they play in time.

Dancers jostle to form the line.

The stages prepared and subtly lit

Ushered into our row, we sit.

To be enraptured and enthralled

Until the interval is called.

A lovesick daughter, or a Faerie Queen.

It doesn’t matter if it’s one you’ve seen.

My favourite ones are nymphs and faerie,

That Evil one is far to scary!

Discussing the storyline once more

As the actors assemble at the door.

To await the time they’re at their leisure

The performance given for your pleasure.

 

 

 

Lifted a Cloud

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There’s happiness in my house today,
Finally chased the darkness away
A simple thing a cloud has lifted
Not sure but feel that I’ve been gifted
And blessed with another chance to see
Again a once hidden part of me.
Don a smile, a dance or a song
Hoping the feeling will last for long
Laughter is a joyful sound
Looking a while, now been found.
Was away for a time, something amiss,
Wanted to tell you of this Bliss.

Looking Back, A struggle to write.

Looking back through some of my old papers, I often find things I’ve written in the past. Sometimes, I feel as though they should stay there.  But as time goes on, they give a better picture of who I am today and how I arrived here. I wrote this many years ago around 1995 I think.  I had written poetry before, some of it will appear here later, but I regularly struggled with writers block.  At the time I painted it onto a bottle after I had drunk the contents. I found the bottle a while ago and transferred it to paper. A picture will follow if I can find it again…

It seems I cannot write things
Till I’m down or even depressed
As when I try to do this
They make sense even less.
It seems I have to be hurting
Very deep down inside.
Unable to tell him things,
When so many times I’ve tried.
So when I try to write things down
My true feelings come out right.
Sometimes you know I wear a frown
And sit up alone at night
I sit here with pen and paper
Cramming words down on the page
It’s been like that for years now
And I thought it’s just my age
Other people will rant and rave
Or bottle things up for years
But how I feel is what I write
Mixed up with a few tears.

 

 

 

 

Over the Hill

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Over the Hill
Over the hill and down the Dale.
You hear the wind howl and wail.
Hedgerows grow as recompense,
By apology for breaking the fence.
From it smashing along so hard
Only the weeds settle in the yard
Growing fast they are abundant
Where space for flowers and food is meant
But in this wild, unforgiving place
There is calm and there is space.

Birds, planes and Micro light
Vie for attention all in flight
Hovering over Sea and sand
Searching for a place to land.
Rabbits, foxes and insects thrive
In this garden, the activity hive.
Deer, Owls and Squirrels swoon
In Nature’s cavernous storage room.

In the patchwork scenery
Find your peace, serenity
The weather breaks, the fog disappears
Harvest brought in allays the fears
Of loneliness and solitude,
There’s work to be done,
So don’t mean to be rude.
Long days in the Summer sun.
Machinery, busy whirring and ticking
Crickets in grass, singing and clicking.
The warmth brought from a sunny haze
Simple things to cheer and amaze.

Happiness and energy abound
Relishing in the sight and sound.
Drinking your tea and reading a letter
Hard to believe it gets any better.
When you take a look around
Spirits delight in what we’ve found.

Awaken the Gratitude in your Life

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It is part of my journey that I am attempting to embrace the changes which have been happening in my life recently. As someone who in her past has not coped particularly well with change to the every day, I have at times found this almost impossible. But I have found something which helps enables me to do this, a wonderful tool in the box, which is helping me rebuild where things were once broken.

At times it is hard to take a look outside of yourself, when life feels dark and you are so caught up with the thoughts in your head.

So may I suggest this….

Try if you can to breathe, look around you and find just one thing which you can be Grateful or thankful for. I am sure that once you start to do this you will soon notice that many more appear when you open your eyes to them and you begin to think outside of the box.

There is a wonderful lady who has spent the past three years seeking to open people’s eyes to the concept of Gratitude. She is called Kristin Granger and lives on the other side of the world to me in Australia. Kristin runs a Facebook page called Gratitude in All and I love what she shows on the page. She regularly runs through the alphabet in her posts asking people to comment upon what they are grateful for. Take a look, I am sure that you will find the answers interesting and possibly inspiring.

If you can contribute, share her posts and like her page, I am sure that it will encourage you to change your outlook and look for the good things. It may provide you with inspiration too.

It has for me….

So remember with fondness, the good things in your past, and Celebrate the Good that your future holds.

https://www.face book.com/Gratitudenall/ You can also find more of her work and writing at http://twistoffaith.com.au

March! It’s Endometriosis Awareness Month

DSC_0184It’s March and with thoughts of Spring, we head into Endometriosis Awareness Month. Like many other months of the year, those who are sufferers and their loved ones choose to raise awareness of the things which have affected their lives, in the hope that it will bring answers, help and encouragement to others.  This poem describes my own ongoing fight with this illness and I hope that it explains some of what our #Endosisters and #Endowarriors go through.   If you would like to donate funds into the research of this illness please do so via https://www.endometriosis-uk.org/ and give them the help that they need and if you see someone wearing yellow this month, or even just the adornment of a yellow ribbon then this might just be what they are showing their support of.

Just Living With It….

I lay to rest as my body quakes,

Just how long have I stayed awake?

My limbs are sore and continue to shake

Again the bed I’ll have to remake.

I roll around here and there,

Sleep won’t come and it’s not fair!

Fever and delirium often appear,

Managing to awaken the fear

There’s pain in my stomach, fire in the pit

Tired and aching from all of it.

Sometimes in pain and sometimes I’m numb,

Then to the tablets I’ll succumb.

Gently rolling from side to side,

Waiting for it all to subside.

Exhausted from the tossing and turning,

For a decent night’s sleep I am yearning.

Swelling and Bloating are part of it all,

Feeling so weak, you often fall.

Friends and Doctors think we are mad,

When to bed we return as pain gets so bad.

Surgery on occasion they’ll offer,

In the hope it’ll make you better.

Or hormones and potions by the score

For any reprieve you’ll ask for more.

Sometimes some small amount of relief

Will spur you on “The Cure?” a belief

But they haven’t found one, they’re testing you see,

Medication and therapies on you and on me.

A silent illness it’s often said

So easily discounted as “All in your head”

But it is real, and it is there,

If you’re lucky you’ll have someone who’ll care

You’ll need them with you by your side,

When away from the world you’ll want to hide.

Quite often leaves you childless

Weeping in offices, you are a mess!

As you’re told and trying to understand,

You’d better take someone to hold your hand.

You have your turn of the “monthly curse”

That never ends and you hope for a hearse.

The endless pain to take away,

The emotional torture at the end of the day

Removes the chance of happiness

When those around you couldn’t care less.

Many years later, when you feel insane

They suddenly tell you it has a name.

So what have I got? What is this?

Well, they call it Endometriosis

How did it get here, suddenly arrive?

Will it finish me off or will I survive?

Well, it fuses your organs and causes you pain

And just when you think that you’re through it again

You feel that familiar dragging, pulling around,

Know it’s back, but not where it’ll be found.

Your digestion is poor, your bowels misbehave

A day without this is all that you crave.

On rare days you can feel so well

Invisible illness, Endometriosis Hell!