Since it is International Women’s Day, I thought I would head back to my childhood for this, little did I realise as I wrote it, the effect that it would have on my day and my loved one. The journey into womanhood is not always easy, there are scars you bring with you and I am trying to heal as I go. In two minds as to whether this should be posted, at his suggestion, today is the day! I am thankful that he is alongside me and continues to offer support even when it is unexpected.
As We Grow.
For an afternoon, we get together.
Seems as though it’s been forever
It’s not often that you go out to eat
To sit and talk, a proper meet.
It gets me thinking of younger years
And suddenly I’m choking tears.
Growing up when times were fraught,
Don’t seek to blame, not always your fault.
To push and push and test and test
You only felt you were doing your best.
Taken to church on every Sunday
Ridiculed yet again on Monday
During the week off to school,
Often made to look like a fool.
When sometimes to the house they came,
I would hide myself in shame.
Of what had passed when out to play,
Just wanted to hide myself away.
Did I do wrong? Was I meant,
To hold in all of this torment.
I may have brought it upon myself
A thought when later it affects your health.
Time has passed and strength has grown
Since venturing out all on my own.
They say the times of sand have shifted
Sometimes I see the dark clouds lifted
And sadness takes such time to feel
The memory blurred enough to heal.
Should not be where your thoughts lay
What happened when you went away?
Life’s so different should you return,
But if you stay here you’ll have to learn.
Made to feel bad for a mistake
As your life you try to remake.
It’s strange that it comes flooding back
You realise there’s something you lack.
You didn’t know him well, or understand,
How to make his point, he’d raise his hand.
Wished sometimes for a slap in the face
Instead to put you back in your place.
But without this life, as they say
You wouldn’t be the same person today.
But down where these memories reside
Is where it still hurts deep inside.
A chance for a coffee, for a chat,
Not time to talk about all that.
Decided no longer to be a slave,
But as innocent, don’t try to behave.
For all those things in time gone by
To the back of your mind you must try
For it is now time to move on
Even you can’t undo the wrong.
Don’t dwell upon the past they say
It’s in the past, it’s gone away.
We don’t understand we have to forgive
Once we leave home, our lives to live.
As it’s been a long time since,
We now celebrate our difference.
Although in some ways we are alike.
I can’t get up or sing on a ‘mike‘.
But as enthusiasm starts to show,
For all the things that we should know.
Hope that forgiveness is to me
All that it’s cracked up to be,
I’m not as though heaven sent,
But glad we are so different.